Empty Nests Support Group
Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of depression and loneliness that parents/other guardian relatives feel when one or more of their children leave home. Empty nest syndrome has become more prevalent in modern times, as the extended family is becoming less common than in past generations, and the elderly are left living by themselves.
Today in church a lady said she heard congratulations were in order. She was referring to the birth of my grandchild which should be any day. I hated to burst her bubble but I had to tell her the truth about my son and his not having me be a part of his life, which includes not recognizing Christmas. Just now in this season when we think about Mary giving birth, I have to pretend my daughter-in-law is not about to become a mother, too, and my son a father. As the words to the spiritual are titled "Still Her Little Child" in reference to Mary and Jesus, my son is still my little child and it hurts to not be able to celebrate the birth of this baby with him.
I am so sorry to hear that you are being left out of your grandchild's birth. In struggling with empty nest, I am hoping that perhaps grandchildren will someday ease these empty feelings for me. My hope is that my son's family will live here and I will be able to go to school events, sporting events, church events, babysit, etc. My hope is that it will make me feel like a part of my son's life again. But perhaps I should not hope. If these things don't happen then I will probably feel as devastated as you do now. It is almost like empty nest a second time. My hugs go out to you. I hope you find solace.
The maternal grandmother usually plays a full grandmother role in her grandkid's life...which is wonderful for both the grandmother and grandchild. More love for both!!
I once shared a hospital room with a nice woman about 45 yo. She had one son and she was a grandmother to his one little boy about 4 yo. Her son came to visit her in the hospital one day and brought her only grandchild. He said to his 4 yo " Go give your grammy a kiss".
The little boy refused and was crying and saying that she wasn't his grammy and he didn't want to kiss her!!
After the woman's son left, she explained to me that her grandson spends all his time with his other grandmother, so he doesn't know her as a grandmother too. She said she only gets to see him on his birthday and and one or two holidays, and that's not enough for a little child to really feel comfortable with an adult - grandmother or not.
This made me feel so sad for her, not even realizing that someday it may happen to me too, since I only have sons.