Empty Nests Support Group

Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of depression and loneliness that parents/other guardian relatives feel when one or more of their children leave home. Empty nest syndrome has become more prevalent in modern times, as the extended family is becoming less common than in past generations, and the elderly are left living by themselves.

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DeniseMas58 07/10/2014

I don't think the empty nest feeling is unique to our generation. I was thinking about my own Mom and how she felt. She just turned 83 so I asked her the other day if it was hard when I and my two brothers left home. She said "Oh YES, I missed my KIDS" and got teary. She's not very demonstrative so I know her tears and feelings were genuine. It just never dawned on me that she would have felt the same. She said it's even hard at Christmas when we're all there, and then we leave at the same time.

She lives in the same town so I see her every other week and call her twice a week. From now on I will just let her talk a little more if she feels like it.

And when our kids grow up and have their own, they too will feel the same way.

deleted_user 07/10/2014

Thanks for this post. I enjoyed reading it. Not that I wish this emptiness on anyone but is nice to know that every generation goes through it. Summer is coming to an end soon and I find myself filled with anxiety of what I know is coming when my daughter returns to college. When I asked my mom about it she just said thats its hard but you get used to it. Not looking forward to just "getting used to it." Sounds like getting used to being short or a certain hair color-LOL. Guess this just shows that all mothers adore their children and need them in their lives.

Paulinaakk1 07/10/2014

I know my mom was sad when we all went too. Don't know if she struggled like me though. She didn't seem too. Of course you didn't see or hear from people like you do today. I wonder if the ease of keeping in touch with text and email makes it easier or harder to be apart. I think for me it makes it harder because I know how easy it would be for my kids to stay in contact with me and hurts when they don't.

DeniseMas58 07/10/2014

Yea, I don't want to just 'get used to it' either; I just want to feel better :-(

And yes Paulina, it's a double edge sword. It is so much easier to keep in touch now and when they don't, it feels like a slap in the face. Like how hard is it!!

missingmybaby2014 07/15/2014

I was from a terrible background, so my parents didnt care that I left. But then I was so pleased to get away from them too. We havent spoken in years.

I think anybody can be a parent, look at drug addicts, 13 year olds etc
but not everybody can be a good Mum.

I think we can be extra proud of ourselves that we have a relationship with our children, not everybody does.

deleted_user 07/23/2014

I'm not sure my parents were that sad when I went to college - I'm the youngest of 5 LOL!

I DO think parents today are more "friends" with our kids then in past generations - so maybe it really is harder for most now.

Paulinaakk1 07/24/2014

I think the "friend" idea has a lot to do with it. I have tried to stay close to my children and share their interests. Other than the occasional shopping trip to another town with my mom I did not go to movies, ice skating, bowling, even really eat out with my parents except maybe on a birthday. I like to do things with my kids. We went bowling not that long ago, tons of movies, my husband plays video games with them (I play facebook games with them too), we do things together. It makes it so much harder when they leave. My youngest son told me he didn't want to go somewhere the other day because there "weren't enough people going".

DeniseMas58 07/25/2014

I totally agree with the 'friend' aspect. My Mom and I did nothing together and my daughter and I did everything! That's what I miss the most, just hanging out and doing things. I miss my friend :-(

deleted_user 08/16/2014

I must confess I didn't give it a second thought about how my mom may have felt when I left home. I was so ready to start my own life. Now when i think about it I feel bad. I need to give my kids that same freedom I needed then. But, like you, I was friends with my kids and did lots of things together. My mom was not that easy to get along with as she was/is a very critical person.

DeniseMas58 08/17/2014

I know how you feel Judit5, my Mom was the same way. I felt like I could do nothing right in her eyes. Even though we are closer and I help her out; I feel that wall. That's why I wanted things so different with my daughter by being a supportive Mom and a friend. But in the end it doesn't matter, they (and us when we were kids) still leave.

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