Empty Nests Support Group

Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of depression and loneliness that parents/other guardian relatives feel when one or more of their children leave home. Empty nest syndrome has become more prevalent in modern times, as the extended family is becoming less common than in past generations, and the elderly are left living by themselves.

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How to balance pride and sadness

mommamiah
mommamiah
It's a double edge sword, and I feel as if my heart is on the sharp receiving end lately. We raise our kids to be independent, self assured & happy and then...presto! They are those things, and we are left on the sidelines watching and wondering..."Why am I so sad? This has been the goal for the last 18 years, right?" I struggle daily with ping ponging between being so proud of my two girls I could burst, to actually bursting into tears because I miss them ...and who I used to be when I was their full time mom. After my eldest left this morning following a two day visit,I sat alone in my empty nest and bawled out loud to my three dogs about how sad I am. I had six eyes and three cocked heads looking at me like I'm crazy. Who am I? I feel lost. My identity, happiness and feeling like "myself" left with our youngest daughter when she moved into her dorm 2000 miles away this past August. Will I ever feel normal again or will I bobble between being this babbling "dog mom" and proud warrior mom who puts on a happy face trying to ACT like everything is normal?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know the feeling all to well... But you can pat yourself on the back because you did a good job, now its time for you to put yourself first, develop hobbies etc.... You'll be fine, and remember your not alone! Barb
DeniseMas58
DeniseMas58
Feeling your pain Mamma. I'm doing pretty good as I saw my daughter last weekend. But just out of the blue I will start crying; like tonight when I saw some old vacation pictures. We will never have those times back and it's very painful. They take a big part of us away when they leave and I don't know who I am anymore either.

I have no advice but want you to know that we are all in this together and I'm glad you're here.
Paulinaakk1
Paulinaakk1
All sounds normal to me, or at least in my version of life. I want my kids to succeed and be happy, but I want them to be close enough I get to share that happiness. My oldest just applied to a school 2000 miles away with no warning. He is 25 and lives on his own and decided to go back to school. He said he was just applying to two schools here this year and if he didn't make it in he was applying nationwide, but not this year. I have a lump in my stomach that just won't go away. I was praying for here, but if not thought I had another year of having him close by. I want him to go back to school, I want him to fulfill his dream, but I don't want him clear across the country. Just idea won't let me sleep at night.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Time goes fast doesn't it? Where did the time go, it seems like yesterday my 27 yr old was 3 and standing onto of the kitchen counter!
We should be proud our children have gone out on their own. Our relationship has changed but we're still mom! I found a great web site where they give 20 tips for adjustment for an empty nest- it www.emptynestsupport.com
Its been very helpful!
irishroses2
irishroses2
I hope today you are having a good day. That sadness does come and go when our children grow up and leave home. And then you adjust and do pretty well. It can be a roller coaster for sure but take strength from others that feel similar feelings. We are here for each other. :)