I sure have been through all of it. My oldest has been gone 2 years although I pretty much had him back for 7 months while his fianc lived with us. Now I have lost them both to life. They are so busy. No texts, no msgs nothing. If I text them or invite them to something they do answer or try to come, but it is like an obligation and they never want to spend time with me. It is so hard. My youngest is still at home and he wants nothing to do with me. That is worse. I see him every day, but he barely speaks to me and sometimes when I try to force it he just gets mad. I live in fear of when he moves out and I never hear from him again. I'm not sure when you get over it. I know I back slid something awful with my son's fianc being here and having to go through losing all over again. It has been 4 months and I am so miserably alone. I know that isn't any help, but you are not alone in your feelings.

Paulinaakk1:

I don't understand what these young people want or expect from us. I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I know I would have a hard time handling it. At least my son does agree to meet us for dinner and occasionally he comes out to work on his truck, etc. I'm not sure I could handle what you are dealing with. Today at church we had a lesson on honor your father and mother. Some of these kids today are certainly not doing that.--my son is perhaps half and half. I want more communication from him not all from us. I'm going to try a new strategy -- whenever I feel gloomy feelings coming on I am going to read scripture. I'm going to just try and turn my thoughts to God and keep praying for a great resolution. He is in control and I need to turn control over to him rather than trying to squeeze control back into my hands. I can't control my son's behavior now that he is an adult but God can. fI will have to see if that works for me. I am finding out that I am evidently a control freek. I hope you can get to a better relationship with your sons.

I have always been a bit of a control freak and a terrible worrier. Add in a bit of OCD and life can be hard. I know I need to let go of my kids and move on to something for me, but I sure don't know what that is. I was very involved in my kids lives too and now don't have any friends of my own either. I did look in my area for an empty nest group, but didn't find one. It is hard to feel like I am not moving forward at all. I hope once the youngest moves out I can do more for me.

I am sad tonight. We had a great day with our son. He still lives in our hometown and still comes to the church he grew up in. He doesn't sit with us, of course, but at least he is there. After church we went out to dinner with two of his aunts and one brother-in-law. After lunch we went to a neighboring town about 45 minutes away to visit an outlet mall and return/shop for some shirts. It was good but as soon as he left I just felt so sad. I miss him so much, miss being able to talk to him, miss him. While I was fixing dinner tonight I saw 3 cups from an amusement park, 3 condiment bowls, I had put up towels and saw the third towel. Everything was purchased for 3 and now there are only 2. My husband says he understands but he doesn't have this emptiness I do when my son walks out the door. Anyway, I just wish he was still here. I guess I never prepared myself for the time when he would be gone. My mistake. Just feels better to somehow write it down if I can't say it. Thanks to anyone who reads and can sympathize.

I sure can empathize!!! Both of my sons have been out of the house for years and I still feel the emptiness! My marriage is a joke (more like room mates) and that only adds to the emptiness I feel. My sons were my life and maybe that was the mistake I made. I poured my heart and soul into them and now they are gone, married and focused on their wives. I MISS them SO much. Then, my DIL for my one son is always doing things with their family so I feel left out. I talk to both sons at least once a week but walk the fine line so as not to interfere with their lives. I have to say that this is the hardest and most depressing time of my life! I do have some great women friends who are supportive and that helps me a lot. I have a LOT of empathy for both of you (why mom and Paulinaakk1). It hurts SO bad and the heartache is excruciating. I am trying to work on "letting go" and moving on. I am trying to do things for myself but the emptiness controls my life. Wish I could turn it off! Wish I had words to offer but all I can say is I understand how you both feel. I just try to keep busy to get through the days. Sigh.

Before I left home and after I left home and even when I was living my life, being independent, living on my own, I always had a very close relationship with my mother. I missed her and my stepfather, especially once I moved away from the same town as them, so I made a point of calling them an equal amount as they did me. Maybe it was because I was an only child, that is definitely part of it. I think the other part was that technology was not part of our daily life and having a real conversation was important. I remember looking forward to going home for the holidays to see them face to face, family dinners, etc. and after when I arrived back home, that feeling of missing them was even stronger.

I raised my girls on my own for seventeen years and we have always been very close, as I was to my parents. I have noticed that technology has made communication next to impossible when they are in the same room as me. When they come to visit me I often have to repeat myself 3 or 4 times before they actually understand what I had said. This is so very frustrating. I am very lonely without my children in my life on a daily basis and communication online just does not cut it for me and when they are visiting me, I expect them to communicate with me, to be fully present when I am talking to them.

I am alone. I have no spouse, no friends, nobody in my life who can fill this void. I seem to think that when I do have a man in my life, it will be different, but there are people like yourself who are married yet still lonely. I remember working with a woman who was married for many years and their children were on their own. I was young at the time and I mentioned that it must be nice for them as a couple now that the children are gone. She had tears in her eyes and said to me that you do not have to be alone to be lonely. I will always remember this, it's impact made me sad. I really hoped that when I got to that point in my life that I would not be as lonely as she was. I am at that point in my life and I am indeed that lonely person, as she was. This saddens my heart as there are so many of us that are in this space.

I pray that my girls will one day realise that I am important in their lives and I really hope that they treat me better in the future. I also hope that it will not be too late when they do realise it, meaning after I have died.