I hope you are feeling better today I know how you feel. My kids and my mom were my life. I don't have much of a career, just a part time job. Days can get really long escpeically near the holidays. I am lucky this year as my kids seem to be coming by a lot, but they didn't last year. My oldest wants to move out of state next year so will see what happens with him and his fiance, but know I will see them less as they will at least be living farther south even if they don't go across the country My mom and I don't talk anymore. I don't volunteer and I know no one at church. We moved to much for me to make friends. I do understand. Hugs.

Sometimes it doesn't take much to set us off. I'm pretty shy too and not much of a 'joiner' so am basically reclusive. It makes for a pretty lonely life when the ones you love are gone.

Thanks for replying back. Everyone has their own stories of feeling alone and wondering how to move on with a new meaningful purpose in life after raising children. I like where I live but there are not many things to do here. I know I need more socialization but find it difficult finding activities in this area. I am becoming more isolated and know it's not healthy for anyone to stay that way, but try as might, nothing seems to work out. I care a lot about people and do a lot to help others when they need encouragement, but few know of my own struggles with loneliness. I wish everyone hurting could immediately feel better but knowing we all have this site as a support really does lift some of that weight we may be feeling. One day at a time....

I relate to you as well. My life has always been focused on my kids. I didn't care to spend time with anyone outside my family. I figured I was away from them enough when I worked. I no longer work and I too isolate myself to my house.
My husband works a lot so I don't see him much. Normally he comes home, eats dinner and goes to bed. He doesn't understand why I can't seem to go on with life.

I hope you are having a better day.

I remember when my two daughters were little, I was very busy raising them and didn't really appreciate fully at the time just how fast time goes by. It seems like in a flash, they are both grown and graduated from college this month. Now, all that I have home is my little dog and cat. It's just nice to have someone, even if it's a pet to come home to after work. I miss the conversations of another person a lot now though. I know it's not healthy in many ways to feel isolated, but still struggling to find a group somewhere in this small town. I am a survivor, always have been, but I know I am burning out. I still have that hope though that it will get better. It's just difficult.

It's so hard when the roles we play(all willingly and lovingly!) as parent, daughter(or son), wife, etc., are no longer needed. What's to fill that void?
Add to that dilemma the fact you may be shy or introverted so don't seek out external activities but would rather hide inside your own dark cave.
We spend so many of our years based around our kids, then our parents, then poof. It's all gone and we're stunned by not knowing what we're supposed to do now. We don't even know what WE would enjoy doing, what WE want to do with our lives. Somehow we need to turn the shift of attention from everyone else back onto us so we can come to know ourselves again.

Hopefully, in the future we can all do that for ourselves. Right now though, I just feel like crying. :(

I sure can relate to all these posts. For so many years, our focus is on raising our kids and then they are gone. It helps me (a little anyway) to remember how I felt back when I was young. The focus for me when I was in my 20's was on my friends and getting a career going. My parents were not a big part of my life then. It wasn't until I was older that I realized how much my parent meant to me. My two sons are in their 20's and are married. They have their own lives and I try to give them their space. If I could have my way, I would talk to them every day. I miss being the center of their lives and am trying to accept that it will never happen! I try to focus on the good things and am proud they are independent and doing fine on their own. I still cry and my coping mechanism is to keep busy. Hugs to all Moms out there who suffer this empty nest sadness!

I love solitude but wow, this house is deafeningly quiet. I wish we could control what our minds think about. I'll be doing okay then all of a sudden something visits my memories or I see a sweatshirt my dds left somewhere and it's as if the loneliness floods right back in.

I am extremely proud of my adult kids :), so happy for the adventures and achievements, their courage and drive to be independent. But can't they do that an hour away instead of multiple states away. :)

I do read a lot, that fills the void pretty well sometimes. But it feels like I find myself wandering around the house wondering what I'm supposed to be doing.

And YES, I wish I had appreciated the time my kids were growing up more than I did. It seems like I spent so much of their childhood wishing for each phase to pass rather than making the most of it. I wish I hadn't said 'not right now, I don't have time' as often as I did. You don't ever get that time back for a do-over.

I keep telling myself we all have pain, all experience hurts in our hearts and lives. This is my own personal pain right now and I will get through it like all the other times, somehow filling the void and softening the edges around the scars.

Everyone, be gentle with yourselves. Do something for yourself today, even if it's just read a magazine, a nice soothing bath, or taking a walk.

I know exactly how you feel! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

I fear I'm becoming a recluse. I'm not a sociable type, have few friends who are married or have family. I don't even like going on Facebook anymore - I just see status updates about people's busy lives doing fun things together in the weekends, and I feel stuck at home not knowing what to do. But what's the point going anywhere when you're on your own? A walk on the beach or in the park is as lonely as being at home alone. I'm in such a miserable rut.

I completely understand.. I have twin girls.. both attend colleges out of state.. one left 2 weeks ago. School started last week. The other one just left this morning.. was teary when she walked into the airport. The hour drive home, I was ok. Now, I am not. It's starting again. I am suppose to finish cleaning up and pack for a school trip tomorrow..right now, I just dont feel like doing anything.. heres a hug!!

My daughter is all concerned about a part of my family that won't accept me. So I get left out all the time and she just does things with them and I am told I am not welcome. I am beginning tom think that next time she calls I am not going to answer the call. I am getting tired of all the excuses and the negative yelling at me for nothing. I don't have the money for her so she stays with them. She only calls when she cannot tell them something. I am tired of it all. I am getting uninvolved for now. Let her see what it's like not to be answered.

I came to this discussion today because I am tired of feeling sad. Empty nest is so much harder than I ever thought it would be. I try so hard to keep busy, to keep positive etc. etc. but I still just feel so damn lost sometimes and it feels horrible. Sending hugs to all parents who are going through this. xoxo

There are so many things I should and could do, but sometimes I just can't find the motivation when I am here alone. My daughter (youngest, 19) just came home and then went off again to a SuperBowl party. My boys used to be here watching sports, but one has been in Australia since August 30th and the other one is down there for 2 weeks visiting his brother. I miss them so damn much.