Empty Nests Support Group
Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of depression and loneliness that parents/other guardian relatives feel when one or more of their children leave home. Empty nest syndrome has become more prevalent in modern times, as the extended family is becoming less common than in past generations, and the elderly are left living by themselves.
First off let me say I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the right area, but I figured I'd give it a go anyway.
I am a young mother of one beautiful loving soon-to-be 3yr old. My husband, of one year, is his father and my high school sweetheart. The past few months have been a little stressful for us both, but we have been able to manage. My husband works full time+ (6 days a week) and I only work part time 3 half days a week. My husband takes care of most bills and I take care of our son, ALL housework, including laundry and grocery shopping. I myself pay for the groceries, the gas it takes to get everywhere in my car, and the money it takes to wash our clothes at the L-mat. Please let me say my husband is a penny pincher, myself, not so much. So of course when I brought up to my husband that I was ready to have a 2nd child, he said no because it would be too expensive. Which I fought for a while because our son has been potty trained and a few months, (so the $we were spending on diapers is now extra) plus other financial things had changed for the better. So he basically had no valid excuse. And of course I had my reasoning behind wanting another baby. I wanted my son to have a brother or sister close in age. Also don't want to wait until he's older and then have a baby cause then he might have the mentality that we're sending him off to kindergarten and 'replacing' him too.
But since then I've given up that battle and now begun another. A dog. I want to adopt a dog from a friend of ours who is a foster. He again says we can't afford it but I've worked it out and we can afford it. I feel so heart broken over this. And so mad at him. It would be our dog but I would be the one taking care of it and paying for it. And I believe it would be beneficial to my son as well to have a companion and to gradually learn responsibility not just when he gets to a certain age then say your old enough here is this pet it's all you 100% you have to walk it, feed it, clean up after it etc. Am I wrong to feel so angry and upset? I don't want to hurt our marriage by just going for it and buying it, but in a way he is hurting it by constantly saying no.
I am a young mother of one beautiful loving soon-to-be 3yr old. My husband, of one year, is his father and my high school sweetheart. The past few months have been a little stressful for us both, but we have been able to manage. My husband works full time+ (6 days a week) and I only work part time 3 half days a week. My husband takes care of most bills and I take care of our son, ALL housework, including laundry and grocery shopping. I myself pay for the groceries, the gas it takes to get everywhere in my car, and the money it takes to wash our clothes at the L-mat. Please let me say my husband is a penny pincher, myself, not so much. So of course when I brought up to my husband that I was ready to have a 2nd child, he said no because it would be too expensive. Which I fought for a while because our son has been potty trained and a few months, (so the $we were spending on diapers is now extra) plus other financial things had changed for the better. So he basically had no valid excuse. And of course I had my reasoning behind wanting another baby. I wanted my son to have a brother or sister close in age. Also don't want to wait until he's older and then have a baby cause then he might have the mentality that we're sending him off to kindergarten and 'replacing' him too.
But since then I've given up that battle and now begun another. A dog. I want to adopt a dog from a friend of ours who is a foster. He again says we can't afford it but I've worked it out and we can afford it. I feel so heart broken over this. And so mad at him. It would be our dog but I would be the one taking care of it and paying for it. And I believe it would be beneficial to my son as well to have a companion and to gradually learn responsibility not just when he gets to a certain age then say your old enough here is this pet it's all you 100% you have to walk it, feed it, clean up after it etc. Am I wrong to feel so angry and upset? I don't want to hurt our marriage by just going for it and buying it, but in a way he is hurting it by constantly saying no.
rinehart
Yes it is the wrong post.You should be replying to A post that say's I'm married to my speum donor. Weather he is with you or not your still A one parent household PEROID!!!!!!!But I guess if you want your child to grow up with that kind of example that's your choice!!But he's going to treat his wife the same way some day!!!!
pattymum
I've not been very successful in marriage as I've been married twice and it didn't work for me... I guess I always thought it should be that both sides compromise. That seems the most fair to me.
deleted_user
Maybe both sit down with all bills and expenses; list income versus expenses so he can see that you can afford another child and a dog? Sounds like maybe he is more interested in financial security? Perhaps even a budget? You may want to include a list of the household chores? You may not now, but someday you may resent him not helping around the house? Sometimes financial security is more important for some and not for others. So just knowing you are on same page on how you spend may help him feel more financially secure? God luck to you, sounds like a touch spot, hope your able to get through it okay. I also suggest getting the book the 5 love languages and both of you read it. They have one that is very small and has very few pages so you can get through it quickly. Hugs to you.
deleted_user
Babs, you're the best! So sensible AND compassionate. Wish you lived next door.
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