I think it is. You all of a sudden look at your husband and wonder who this person is that you are living with. Try to find something you have in common or find something new to do together. Perhaps paint or remodel a room, take a trip, join a group or team together, etc. Try to remember what it was that first attracted you to your spouse and then start "dating" again. It can take some time to find the romance but be patient and keep trying. If things don't improve, see a counselor. There are a lot of great ones out there. Good luck!

I was struggling during, but not caring that much because I was so fulfilled being with my kids. it is too late now, in our 60's to change anything. My husband is from a different culture and would NEVER go to counselling and frankly, it would be demanding a lot to expect a therapist to understand an enormous cultural difference.

This is the question I hear most often from other empty nesters. I like my husband, he's a nice guy and a good father, but...I'm bored to tears every evening as he sits in a lump watching t.v. Unfortunately, he isn't a very social or active person and anything we do is my responsibility to set up. I try to find activities both of us can enjoy, but at this stage in life we have very different expectations. I hope someone out there has a better response for you.

I think so and you have to really try to get back into that part of your relationship that was before the kids. Breathe life back in by doing some things together and date each other again. If you put that effort back into your marriage that you put into your kids, it will get better. Lots of love and hugs.

I don.t think it's you.Unfortunatly from others I have talked to it.s very common. We all can't be Dr. Phil and put our spouses first while raising our kids especially since most of us don't have their money and most of us do the bulk of the work with raising the kids. By the time they leave which you can;t believe happens so fast since they were just babies yesterday it seems,you don't know the person you live with anymore.Good luck

Go out and do things, hike, go bowling, what ever.
You will find he will start to miss you, and want to join in.
Don't wait for him, don't expect him to do anything.
Just keep letting him know where your going and that your bored.
And most of all, that you love him, dont let him forget that.
Let nature take its course.

I could be wrong. But I suspect. Part of the reason we have empty nest syndrome is because we filled the void in our marriage with our children. I put my child first because hubby didn't fullfill me emotionally or intellectually.

He's a nice guy with a great sense of humor. But he's not a feelings guy and he's doesn't entertain irrelevant conversation. Don't get me wrong, my husband is not a stupid man. He's just a realist. He doesn't ponder the mysteries of life.

We use to have fun together but somehow life got in the way. Never had time, never had money. We both settled into complacency. I don't think there's anything wrong with contentment. That's a real life marriage. Eternal romance is a fairytale.

I can find contentment again. I just need to get over this hump and fill my life with new things that give me purpose. It wouldn't be healthy if that purpose became my husband. If he died, I'd be back where I'm at now. I need to find me, the real me, the me I can live with for the rest of my life.

Hi Fehrenbach,
I understand better how you feel. try to remember as you were before going through this dilemma.Instead of being all depressed you could appreciate more life. Maybe you'd enjoy traveling with your spouse. I recently learned of a program for couples. It's a program called Viaseminars.com and and it's a mix of travel and counseling addressed specifically to empty nesters. Maybe you should give them a look... I think you would be helpful.
i hope it will be better.