Empty Nests Support Group

Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of depression and loneliness that parents/other guardian relatives feel when one or more of their children leave home. Empty nest syndrome has become more prevalent in modern times, as the extended family is becoming less common than in past generations, and the elderly are left living by themselves.

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empty nest

PaulaBaron
PaulaBaron
My Daughter is planning on marrying a guy that she's known for a year, and the problem is he's not a loving, warm, and kind person. I can't bare the thought of losing my daughter to this creepy and unfriendly man. The thought of losing her after 25 years to someone we can't stand has caused a year of turmoil in our house. I know she's 25 and more than old enough to marry, but she's 25 going on 15. I went through a horrific divorce when she was young, and have been remarried for 10 years. Her and I have gone through so much together. This guy is extremely controlling, and I know I will nev4er see my Daughter if she marries him. I feel alone, and very depressed. I am disabled and home and feel so sad!!! My Daughter doesn't understand my feelings at all. I want to move away, and not deal with all the heartache anymore. I told her if she marries him, she loses her family. I told her if she marries him she loses me, it will only be his family at the wedding. I could really use a some advice. Thanks so much
missingmybaby2014
missingmybaby2014
I haven't been in your situation so I have no idea how I would act if I was,
but I personally like to keep the doors of communication open in the hope that one day she will realise he is controlling. Hopefully that day is soon and then it is easier for her to reach out to you x
Paulinaakk1
Paulinaakk1
I think the most important thing is not to drive her away. You need to be there for her if things go wrong. She is an adult and as much as we want and need to protect our kids, we just can't any more. Suceed or fail it is their life. Be there to celebrate the successes and be there for her to cry on when things fail. Paryers for all of you.
Getingstronger
Getingstronger
Paula, I really understand your pain surrounding this issue with your daughter, but I don't think it is ever a good idea to give another person an ultimatum. You are literally throwing your daughter into this guy's arms. It is my opinion that you be supportive and loving. You don't have to love the man she is marrying, but you still love her, right?!!! She will need you if this marriage doesn't work out; you have to be the soft place for her to fall.

You can still get together with her for lunch, shopping, and hopefully there will be family holidays. Both of you will have the memories of when she was younger and all the time you have shared together.

Meanwhile, I don't know what disabilities you have, but maybe you can take up a new activity and keep busy doing what you can. Get together with some friends, etc.

Be as understanding and loving towards your daughter as you are able. Who knows, the wedding may never take place. If it does, go and have as good a time as possible. Don't let her memories of you be bad ones.
whymom
whymom
I agree with GetinStronger. By issuing her ultimatums and threats you will be driving her away and perhaps removing her from your life forever. You do not have to approve of him; however, you should probably be civil toward him b/c again, this is who she has chosen and she needs to determine for herself the type of person he is. I know that will be hard. Just pray and make the best of the upcoming wedding. I would go -- take a good friend who can help you -- and be there for her. If she eventually sees him for who he is she will come back to you. If you drive her away, she may not.