Empty Nests Support Group
Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of depression and loneliness that parents/other guardian relatives feel when one or more of their children leave home. Empty nest syndrome has become more prevalent in modern times, as the extended family is becoming less common than in past generations, and the elderly are left living by themselves.
My 21 year old daughter (my only child) moved in with her boyfriend 3 1/2 weeks ago. I had a lot of anxiety leading up to it, I cried at the drop of a hat that first weekend but then I enjoyed the freedom for the first week. I suddenly find myself grieving. I've cried so many times the last 2 days. Tonight she came by to grab a few things and she didn't want to stay a while. That hurt so bad; I really didn't need that today. We were so close, like best friends and now I feel like we aren't as close. I don't want to smother her so I've kept my distance but the fact that she acts like she doesn't belong here anymore makes my heart hurt. Do you feel rejected and how do you deal with it?
As they grow up, we're always doing so much for them and we're concerned about their feelings. When they become adults, they hit that tipping point that involves them being aware that we have feelings that need to be taken into consideration too.
I sat down with my son after a very similar experience and told him that I miss him terribly and would appreciate it if we could perhaps plan to have coffee together now and again. I want to continue to be a family and to do that, we need to have some time.
I know he's busy with new things and I'm beginning to find things to do too, but my time with him is important. It brought him into a new awareness which turned out to be good for our relationship as well as his other relationships.
I think my worry was that I was losing him, but that turned out not to be true. After living with friends for about a year, he came back to live at home. He's busy with his life and the relationship is different but he's still very much in my life.
Knowing that things don't end just because they move out helped me. Hope it is helpful for you.