Empty Nests Support Group
Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of depression and loneliness that parents/other guardian relatives feel when one or more of their children leave home. Empty nest syndrome has become more prevalent in modern times, as the extended family is becoming less common than in past generations, and the elderly are left living by themselves.
Sometimes when I think about my son being gone from our home, I feel a despair just over a changed relationship and the uncertainty of where it is headed. I also just miss my son -- he is witty, quick to say funny things, just fun to be around. I no longer embrace change because of the unknown future. I also fear that the uncertainty of our relationship and where it is headed will move further away from me and I the bridge I already feel between my son and myself will get even wider. It is all just so scary to feel you may no longer have the relationship you worked to establish for so many years. Do any of you feel like it is work just to talk to your adult child now? I do -- I no longer have any confidence in myself, my self-esteem is low, I sometimes feel like I have to impress my son in order for him to feel like it is worth his time to be with me. My husband says these feelings are unfounded, but nevertheless, for me they are there. I don't know where I "fit" into my son's life any more. He now has people in his life that I don't know, makes choices that I have no idea about, now seems to like things (like foods) that he didn't used to, he is not a total stranger but someone that I no longer know everything about. It is in such a situation that I am not sure what to cook if he were to be here for a meal. All of this just scares me. Change -- which I do not want any more. Life is a dreadful place now. Maybe things will change back toward some "norm" and I won't feel so lost some day but for now I just feel lost on a lot of days. Thanks to anyone who may read this.
sounds like we are kindred spirits at this moment in our lives. my son left here about an hour ago and all I could do was cry when he left. he has plans for the afternoon with friends and a big labor day event in our city -- we are left here alone. The loss of happy family is also so true for me. I somehow wish all of us who are posting on this forum could get together and cry, hug each other and not feel so alone. My husband just doesn't understand. When I started to cry today he just looked at me and said "what?" I just don't think men get it. Last night I think I also know part of my problem -- not that I want specific sympathy. I think I fear being left behind because when I was 22 my father killed himself, 3 months after our son moved out our dog died and then my son moving out unexpected -- he did not tell me he was moving out, I found out via an email just 2-1/2 weeks before he moved out. I wonder if I hadn't gotten the email when he was going to tell me. He said he wanted to have all the facts about the move before he told me. So, I have had 3 relationships that I loved deeply change in a sudden manner. I don't know if my subconscious fears that my son will completely disappear which contributes to my feelings. That perhaps explains why I get upset when my son doesn't contact us/doesn't reach out to us. My subconscious fears this is the end of my relationship with him.. Anyway, life is just so different for me now and I just wonder if/when can change. I think we all can agree that this is not a happy time.