Empty Nests Support Group
Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of depression and loneliness that parents/other guardian relatives feel when one or more of their children leave home. Empty nest syndrome has become more prevalent in modern times, as the extended family is becoming less common than in past generations, and the elderly are left living by themselves.
So sad today as I am not going to see my son on his birthday. He was going out with his girlfriend and I was ok until I found out they are going to be here. I mean blocks away at my son's favorite restaurant that we always take him to. I suggested stopping by for cake after they eat, but she is making him a cake and the same kind of cake I was making for him on Sunday when he agreed to come over.
I love the girlfriend and she asked months ago what my plans were for his birthday. I told her it was up to him. He told me they were getting together about 40 miles from here and so wanted to see me a different day. I was ok. But today she told me they never had plans to go anywhere far away.
Feeling lied to and hurt that he doesn't want to be here. They have 4 hours to kill between dinner and the movie they are going to. And we are 5 minutes from both. Could have done presents and cake so easy. Guess he wants his birthday to be with her, but hurts as this day was about me and him becoming mother and child....
I love the girlfriend and she asked months ago what my plans were for his birthday. I told her it was up to him. He told me they were getting together about 40 miles from here and so wanted to see me a different day. I was ok. But today she told me they never had plans to go anywhere far away.
Feeling lied to and hurt that he doesn't want to be here. They have 4 hours to kill between dinner and the movie they are going to. And we are 5 minutes from both. Could have done presents and cake so easy. Guess he wants his birthday to be with her, but hurts as this day was about me and him becoming mother and child....
I'm not sure if you're looking for suggestions or if you just need to vent.
I've found a couple of things to be helpful. One approach I've successfully employed in the past is to talk with my kids and say "I love you but I am feeling sincerely disrespected. I want to be part of your life but it's essential that the respect go both ways." And I brought up specifics of the situation to demonstrate what was happening that I felt disrespected.
Alternatively, when a child has said they're not going to be here on a special day I've said, "Hey, no worries. I have plans that day anyway but would love to see you when we both have a free evening."
This second approach helps them realize I do have a life and other things I enjoy - that I have a full life and can enjoy things without them.
Sending hugs.