I think it is a very strange and troubling family dynamic when a parents "very best friend" is their offspring.

No wonder you question your "marital relationship". You have no marital relationship as for the past 18 years, you have invested all your emotional energy into your son at the detriment of your marriage and your husband.

Now you are essentially experiencing a divorce - from your son.

Do you have kids?

Yes, I have 2 children. A 24 yo married daughter who went to college about 600 miles away at age 17 and a 21 yo son who joined the military at age 17.

I'm sorry that you judge my relationship. For the first few years of my son's life, I worked full time and went to school full time, therefore missing a lot of stages of his life. In 2010, my only brother took his own life and life changed for me forever. My son is a blessing and a great kid. After I graduated, he and I have spent a lot of time together. I still have other relationships, but I am feeling a great loss of him being away.

I'm sorry you lost your brother. And I am not judging you. I am merely offering my observations based on your several recent posts regarding your relationship with your husband.

If you don't like the reflection you see in the mirror, don't blame the looking glass.

I don’t have a problem with my friendship with. My son. I. Sorry for you that you do not. I am going to be ok with him at college. I am very proud of him. I am just here to have people listen to me feel a little sad. Not to judge me. I am discovering who I am on. Y own.

I am in the same boat as you, megan822! My only child leave for college in a few weeks and I am just beside myself with mixed up feelings. Yes, I have a job and dog and boyfriend and friends.... it all seems like a big nothing next to the beautiful time I've spent as mom. Don't listen to others who can't relate or judge... This is tough!!! My very joy of waking up in the morning is leaving the house.... I know I'll be "fine" but it's going to take time, I think.
I am just trying to get through the next several weeks and enjoy the small moments, then I figure I'll make a plan on how to refocus my energy.... new direction at work? write a blog? start cross fit? haven't decided yet, but I'm glad to have my puppy, that's for sure. Keep posting and we can compare notes over these next weeks!!

doglover44, I am really grateful to have someone who understands my feelings. I am trying to stay busy. I am a school teacher, so when he goes to school, I will go back as well. I am also refocussing my energy. I didn't think of a blog, but it might be a good plan. I have 5 dogs that I love tons and they will keep me company as well.

I also have to remind myself that he will visit and he isn't gone forever.

Hi, that's so true that he isn't gone forever! I already have the weekends picked out for visits, and know that we'll text and talk. I'm just struggling with the fact that it will never be the same, all the while knowing that what is happening is exactly what is supposed to be happening. That's what everyone is telling me.... that my child is strong, independent, and curious,
ready for college, which means that we did something right! Well okayyyy.... butttt.... seems like once high school graduation came, I was put into this strange alter-reality where I'm no longer needed. Which of course is not exactly true, just not needed in the same way. Right? Everything just flip flopped over night, is what it feels like anyway.
Today we are doing a little college shopping, looking forward to that:)

I have the same anxieties. He has been 'mine' for all these years and now he isn't mine anymore. He is kind of 'his'. I am super proud and I do not want him to stay here. I just know that I will miss him. He and I are going to see a concert together and we have been swimming together this summer. It just feels so final.

I can relate. I just dropped off my daughter at college. I’m a single parent and knew this day was coming. And I’m so so proud of her. And I’m crying for the first time while writing this. I was very upbeat when taking her and now I’m hopefully just experiencing a natural separation. My big fear is that this sadness won’t go away any time soon.

I think if we stick together, we can get through this. It is great to have added support here. I know I wouldn't want him to stay and be a bum in my house, but I will surely miss him.

I’m finally glad to have found other people who understand. I can’t even explain the sadness I feel when my daughter goes back to school , my heart literally hurts . I don’t understand how it is so easy for most people ? I feel like something is wrong with me for feeling so upset . I don’t know how to live in a world where I will see my daughter maybe 6 weeks a year ??? How do others do it ???

I think we have to find our own identity again. For so many years, I have just been "Colten's mom" and now I have to be me again. Find our own interests and decide what we enjoy and love again.

Megan -- don't listen to Yard_Eggs. I went through the same thing you are going through. I love my son so much!! He has now graduated from college, but is going back (for veterinary medicine).... and STILL I miss him, even after 4 years. You never get over it, but you do get used to it. What helped me: NEVER listen to songs like "Cats in the Cradle". Just never. Plus, I knew this is what I wanted. I have seen the "other option". When I was a child, our next door neighbor was an old woman and her 35 year old son, Steven. They were all the other had. It was really weird. When she passed, he went insane. He had to be committed. So, I looked at my own son spreading his wings and going to college and realized that is EXACTLY what I want. Yes, I miss him. Yes, I cry. But I wouldn't want anything else, even if I could have whatever I wanted. I would never want a "Steven". As much as you hurt, this is what you want. Babies don't keep. Someday, you might have grandchildren. And that will fill the void you now feel. Until then, do what you can to make yourself happy with your husband, your family, your hobbies. And hug your son every time you see him -- while still setting him free.