Eczema Support Group
Eczema is a form of inflammation of the upper layers of the skin. The main symptoms are skin rashes characterized by redness, skin edema, itching and dryness, with possible crusting, flaking, blistering, cracking, oozing or bleeding. Eczema can be extremely physically and socially uncomfortable. If you're an eczema sufferer, join the group and get support.
I've had eczema for about five years now. I abolutely hate it. I'm really self conscious when it comes to showing my skin. Last time I had a flare up I became so depressed that I began searching for a way to avoid the pain. I started having suicidal thoughts, I'm doing better now but I'm sort of worried about next time this happens. Everytime it becomes more unbearable and unfortunitally my family dosn't really support me when I'm going through this.
I think depression is just starting to set in for me. It's not an issue with self esteem mostly, I've never had a problem with that. I suppose it's just been too many nights spent lying awake, willing my exhausted body to go to sleep when the burning pain won't let me. I'm starting to become bitter about it. I'm sick and tired of my parents saying the infamous dirty words, "stop scratching." I have nearly snapped a few times, wanting to yell at them, wishing so badly, (as horrible as it sounds), to give it to them, to have them sit there with their head down, trying to focus on anything but the itching to avoid stares or comments.
It's gotten to the point where I'm turning on the one person that has done his best to understand me and react the way I need him to. I've only been with my boyfriend about two and a half months, but he's the most understanding about it, even though he has no skin problems. I spent a week at his house after going to the hospital for other health issues, and every night he would come into the guest room to check on me, only to find me crying into my pillow, the pain more than I could tolerate. Whenever we're together, and I'm digging my nails into my skin to try and stop it, he gently grabs my hands, and strokes my skin, almost telling it that it will be okay, and that it doesn't have to cause me pain. He's done this for hours at a time, and I appreciate it so much. But recently, I've found that thoughts of bitterness towards him have surfaced for not being able to fix it. To make it go away. I know that sounds horrible, and I feel like the worst person on the planet for ever even have been capable of thinking that. But I can't help it. I'm pretty sure this is where the depression is coming from. This disease really plays games with your mind.
Even right now, it's 5AM, and I haven't gotten a wink of sleep. I'm typing this through tears, hoping that joining this site will help me, and maybe even help others. Because I know what the worst eczema sufferer is going through, and am willing to help in any way I possible can.
I apologize for the long, depressing post, but as I mentioned, it's been one of those nights, and I needed to get some help.