Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
i am daily fighting within myself towards recovery and i have in the past was told i purged, through exercise. i got that under control eventually, i had a huge rapid weight loss in a very short amount of time, lost over 1/2 my body weight in about 9 months and i was and still am in deep. i eat 3 meals, the same 3 meals, don't deviate. i had a very upsetting thing happen yesterday though. i was making cookies and took some dough off the spoon and had it in my mouth, panicked and spit it out. why couldn't i allow myself that little bit of dough? i am petrified of going back to my old way of eating, shoveling in food. i cant seem to get past this, so afraid if i eat to much or even different things i will gain back way to much. i was at a stable weight, then had surgery and dropped some weight and i am still trying to gain that back, have gained most of it though. those scary and terrifying thoughts dominate my mind. if i am not active enough the guilt over eating is huge and i know better. i am so sick of this and i feel yesterday was a big step backwards. there is no support here, no groups.
I was always anxious and scared and eaton disorder consumed my life. I don't ever want that again! I hate that I hated myself. I hated that I could stand being in my body. It was so draining. I couldn't take it. I still struggle now. But I can happily say that developing a healthy relationship with food was huge step forward for me.
Pieces of meat. Than I I slowly added things and flavored over a few years. This is what I mean it takes time. Will not happen over night. I still have weird rules with food but they are not crazy and they are healthy.
Also understanding why. Why do you feel this way about food? Why do you feel this way about your body? Because when it can answer why you can start to understand how to fix it
I can relate to what you've shared. As CeeCee and Katez say, you are not alone. We may all have a different story but we also have shared experiences.
I've been walking the journey of recovery from anorexia/BED for 34 years. It takes a long time to recover - there are NO quick fixes on this one. But be encouraged, it's SO worth it!! I've learnt so much in my journey of healing about myself and about others, and how I relate to them, etc.
I've learnt the EDs are like leaves on a tree. I could pull the leaves off, but if I didn't take the time and effort to dig deeper and look at the trunk and roots of the problem, my recovery always stalled and/or went backwards. Left to my own devices, my ED always reared up its ugly head. As I worked with a professional (therapist) over the years, I slowly (and I mean slowly because it takes much time, energy, courage and strength to look deeper - you can't rush it....) been able to look at what's at the root (for me it was torture, abuse and a very sick toxic family system).
Don't give up hope. If I can do it, you can do it!
Take care, Kim :)