Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

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ann54 05/08/2015

it was time to go and check with the ED clinical doctor, I avoid it as long as I can. last time I had gone I had lost 10 pounds from my surgery and I was in serious condition. I was under strict orders to re gain the weight. I am alone in this battle and it took me a long time but I did gain it back and the fear consumes me that if I did that wont I keep gaining. I check myself at my sisters about once a week and it has stayed at the extra 10 pounds. why is the fear so intense? I am afraid to look down at the scale. so the doctor said I had done it and my other doctor wanted to know what my ideal weight range should be and I thought it would be higher then she said, I am at the exact lowest I should be. that has me nervous too, I know I should be in nthe proper range for health, but I am still not eating a variety of foods and I must admit I don't really like being "normal". people tell me I am to thin but they are wrong, I am in the range. she also told me to not have so much granola with my yogurt at dinner and have 2 yogurts instead. basically saying I am eating to much of the wrong thing. I enjoy the granola and being told not to eat that much of it has sent me downhill a bit, I thought granola was good for you, yes I do eat a lot of it but not much during the day. I am upset that she told me to cut back on it, it is like a comfort to me at night to have that. I hate ED!!!

uniquorn 05/08/2015

Sounds like maybe she is wanting you to eat more protein (or calcium?). I know my ED therapist asked me why I eat so much fruit and that I can still have my fruit, but to add some source of protein to it - like cheese sticks or yogurt.

kpsurfersfan 05/08/2015

Firstly, you are making huge progress Ann, so well done!

Being "normal" was scary for me also as I'd always been underweight all my life. To me the word "normal" sounded like "overweight" when I first started getting used to it. For me it was all connected with the co-condition to my EDs of BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder), i.e. an abnormal way of seeing your body or yourself. It is not uncommon to find the two conditions coexisting.

Re: the granola - firstly yay to you for being diligent and eating in the first place, and taking care of yourself. I think your health professional may not have realised how important this step has been to you and how difficult it's been. Perhaps the comment she made about "not to have so much granola with the yoghurt" is more to do with needing to balance your dairy/protein intake, so she is saying sacrifice some of the complex carbohydrates for yoghurt to increase your calcium/protein intake perhaps ?? This would make sense to me. Also, the extra yoghurt will help your sleeping patterns in the evening, whereas the granola may just add more fibre and roughage which will fill you up but keep the digestive overactive in the evenings perhaps???

This would be "my take" on her comment. Hope it helps.

Anyways, you are STILL DOING GREAT! You go girl!

Kim.

ann54 05/09/2015

she does want me to add more protein, she said to have 2 yogurts and less granola. so silly of me to think that is more caloreis when it is actually less. I am a carb. addict in the evening, it used to be huge bowl of dry mixed cereal. I thought I was doing good changing to a yogurt and still getting my "fix" with granola. ah well, at least I am eating, just cant eat to much and go above the weight I have been at. kim you are correct, normal sounds like fat to me, or overweight and I have to be very diligent in how much I eat. I haven't been exercising near what I used to do, and I should do more but my body, knee, is reacting to it, unless it is the recumbent bike. my new knee has been really bothering me doing all the new activites that come with spring. I make myself do it to burn calories and not feel like a slug. hugs to both

eshaw 05/10/2015

I spend way too much energy trying not to be "in the range". Really, I obsess and if its in the healthy range, immediately my thinking goes to I'm fat. If you continue to go there I'd suggest you stop weighing yourself. I only weigh myself occasionally, but every time I do I'm disappointed. For me, low is never low enough. And any weight that is "normal" triggers intense urges to engage in ED. I don't know if its the same for you, but maybe you need to stop obsessing about the numbers on the scale? I know I do. I agree that you prob just need more calcium/protein in your diet, but commend you on being willing to take in the calories no matter how that looks. Good job! Sorry if this post is obvious. I guess sometimes I need to hear the obvious to fight the ED. Hope something I said is helpful.

kpsurfersfan 05/10/2015

You guys are doing so well recognising your thoughts and triggers and this is a huge part of recovery and progress towards freedom :)

Eshaw, like you I am careful about not weighing myself too often; I have a set time and I stick to it. Right now once a week is okay for me but any more frequent will, I know, ignite the ED thoughts.

I want to live and enjoy life, not be obsessed about how much I weigh, but it's a fine line and needs balance. By the way, all this is not easy for me, but it's a choice so be encouraged... even if the "feelings" aren't there, you can still make a choice for life and recovery and sanity - YAY!

Bye for now... :)

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