Sounds like you know your spending is off balance and you do realize there is a problem with what you are prioritizing, Seems like you're able to analyze yourself from someone elses perspective but not able to stop. Would it help to make lists to take to the grocery and STICK to it? put nuts on that list! Also maybe some positive affirmations? Stay strong! (((hugs)))

Theresa

Hey Ann

It's great you recognise what's behind your sabotaging behaviour, like not eating breakfast.

Feeling as you do about your body is hard eh... and it sounds like you are very tough on yourself and derogatory in your self-language. Can you trace this back? i.e. do you know why you do this to yourself, and possibly where it came from or who first said those negative things to you. Problems and fears and anxiety can all add up, as I hear from your post. Try and look at them one by one, not as a whole which will overwhelm.

Budget wise - try to keep it simple, write a list, stick to the list, realise you can make healthy life-giving choices with food and still stick to your budget if you substitute and buy cheaper housebrands (hope you have them there as we do in NZ) etc.

You are not disgusting, nor gross, nor ugly but these are lies... they will be old "inner dialogues" you've had for so long that they feel a part of you... but little by little you can challenge them and break their power! You go girl!!!

Kim x

oh I know exactly where those words where spoken, my parents, esp. my mother strting at a very young age. I was "chubby" given different foods, called fat by sblings, ate in secret as I was hungry and told over and over not to turn out like my brother and sister all the while growing up in a dual alcoholic house. I could write a novel. I am very good at knowing what I should do and how to help others but not me. I eat the same darn foods all the time but money wise I need to find a substitute for the nuts until I can find ways to cut back on other things. good news, I ate breakfast this morning! I try affirmations but I don't believe them about me. thanks and hugsss

Great work eating breakfast! Well done :)

Re your affirmations - it's not uncommon for us to feel ambivalent about hearing and thinking and saying more positive things about ourselves. It takes a l-o-n-g time to rewire the brain permanently (I've studied neuroplasticity and brain research, etc). Keep at it. Perhaps like me you are a "visual learner" which means you relate more to seeing than just saying and hearing (which are also important). Try writing something kind to yourself and putting it up on your wall or by your bed etc where you can glance at it over and over again.... repetition is the key with brain recovery.

Later.... Kim x

kim I am more of a visual learner, I guess I haven't tried hard enough or long enough to start believing deep down good feelings. I know I have come far, in many areas, but there is still so much lingering negatives, if I could get control of ED I think so much would change. I am having a hard time eating this morning, just the thought sickens me, but I have to remind myself of yesterday and how busy I was. I still haven't gone shopping for food, so I didn't have the nuts I always have after dinner. I never am hungry for them it is automatic to keep eating, night time has always been my worst time no matter what weight. I am thinking, shouldn't, that this is a good thing, I will break the cycle of over eating at night. I know that I haven't put many calories in during the day, it is just awful. thanks kim for all your support