Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
So Hi, my name is Martha, i'm 19...i've been a bulimic for almost 6 years...not nice obviously...i've been fighting agaist it...like really fighting, but as i guess most of you can understand...it's not an easy fight...and it takes lots... I really want to get some help...but i can't. My family don't know i'm a bulimic, and i'm not planning on telling them.
Once i'm proud to tell...i stopped binging and purging for a year!! That was awesome... but I had a few relapse...after that i could only stop for weeks...Then i had another huge relapse...and holidays came. I was really scared of them...but they weren't as bad as i thought... I survived Christmas dinner, New Year's eve dinner, three king's day dinner, and after almost a month of being without purging...I DID IT AGAIN this last saturday!! =( it really makes me feel awful, like i'm never going to be able to do it... I just want this to stop forever!!
Once i'm proud to tell...i stopped binging and purging for a year!! That was awesome... but I had a few relapse...after that i could only stop for weeks...Then i had another huge relapse...and holidays came. I was really scared of them...but they weren't as bad as i thought... I survived Christmas dinner, New Year's eve dinner, three king's day dinner, and after almost a month of being without purging...I DID IT AGAIN this last saturday!! =( it really makes me feel awful, like i'm never going to be able to do it... I just want this to stop forever!!
It sounds like you are really beating yourself up. We all have slips. I know it feels out of control and awful. But you went for a month - that's great. You can do it again. It's hard without support. Do you have friends or a therapist you can talk to?
Keep fighting!
And no, I don't have a therapist to talk to, but I have some friends, which are the only ones who know...I talk to them sometimes about it...
There are ppl who can teach you how to cope better, and avoid relapse.
Just last year I went to an ED support group, and I cried for like 20 min trying to tell "my story", and after I did that, it was such a relief! OMG, I was not alone, and there were others there who understood my thoughts and had them too! I wasnt crazy, and I did not need to suffer alone anymore. It was a blessing. I recomend reaching out and talking to a counsler or even a free support group. People that can understand and give advice on how they stay strong and over come slip ups is huge, and they are also there for you when you fall.
It helps you understand your ED and why you suffer, how to cope, how to manage, it is amazing. I also thought since I was not as bad as I used to be, that I was better, when in fact, the counsler pointed out that I still needed to work on somethings in my life
So enought blab, I really recomend reaching out, it is very helpful, and your family dose not have to know
You could also confide in a school counselor or a pastor.
This is a relapse...and it's going awful..I can't tell my parents right now, first 'cause there is no trust, and they are the kind of people that judge everything in a mean way...I can't deal with that kind of judging right now... The second reason, is that i'm not living with them right now...i'm living with an aunt, which i can't tell either 'cause she's the one that tells me the tough words, like i'm fat, and ugly and useless and unworthy...
I used to talk with a priest all the time, and he helped me a lot, but since I moved, we only talk by phone, and not that much...