Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

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Mental Health
/ Eating Disorders Support Group

Struggling *Trigger*

xBlissx
xBlissx
I've recently been in hospital again and I've gained a lot of weight. I'm nearly at my highest weight ever and it's really freaking me out. My immediate response is to restrict even though I know it's wrong. I just can't stand feeling so big compared to what I was.

I find it hard to the eating disorder unit I attend for therapy. Seeing all the girls in there just makes it harder to stay healthy. The sick thing about it though is that I look at them and I want to be that thin again. Some of those girls are skeletal and yet I still think "I want to be like that". I feel disgusted with myself for allowing myself to put on so much weight. I know I shouldn't feel like this, and me wanting to see bones again is just the ED talking but I can't help it. It just wont go away.

x-Bliss-x
deleted_user
deleted_user
Its not sick to see thin girls and want to be that thin,ive seen them and immediately thought ill be thinner than them,ill be the thinnest of them all! i feel that way all the time,the past week ive been eating and i checked the scale and gained four pounds and it pretty much killed me,i was torn between doing the right thing for me and my friends or listening to Ana and so far ive won i guess.Just look at it as a war that you deserve to win,you may not win all the battles but the outcome is yours!
deleted_user
deleted_user
One of the times I was IP, I was really jealous of the girls who were thinner than me. Their bones were stickin out more than mine and I felt like such a failure. I just did the best I could to focus on me and what I needed. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh gracious..
As I was driving home from work today I had the same thoughts going through my head.. Its almost on a daily basis too!
But today when I was driving I was thinking about how "great" skinny feels..I know what your saying...But its also not healthy..

I know its hard to gain the weight..Ive recently just got to a healthy weight and its driving me CRAZY!!
But it has to happen.. Its OKAY to be at a healthy weight! Its healthy.. I hope you'll feel better about it soon.. Just remember that it IS OKAY!! *hugz*

I also know saying that its OKAY doesnt make it feel any better..But I hope it does
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think most of us can tell you that you are not alone. My therapist told me that the last thing to go is the body image thing in recovery. You have made tremendous progress. Just going into treatment is a huge step. Complying to the rules and working on being healthy is another big milestone. You have to fight those "ed" thoughts and continue on your path. Hard work in therapy will make you stronger than that voice and you stronger than that evil voice and you will learn to love your body and live a full happy life. I am proud of you:) And it does suck to have those thoughts - I have them at least a dozen times a day! Tell Ed to go f**k off!