Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I hate my eating disorder and I hate what it does to me. I hate the constant thoughts about food. I hate the bingeing and the starving... but I feel safe. I've really been trying to eat healthy with three meals and some snacks, but I've been getting really overwhelmed. I'm so scared that I've got the balance wrong and I'm eating too many calories. I do two sports and I'm in the musical so I spend maybe three hours at home if I'm lucky and the freedom of being away from my parent's view doesn't help me. I'm up and out the door for school before they've gotten up and I'm out at softball, taekwondo or rehearsal until long after dinner. Lunch at school is a joke. My friends don't even realize I stopped eating with them a while ago.
Every meal is up to me and I feel so guilty for choosing to eat every time. I'm getting bullied and I'm spending a lot of time in front of the girls who bullied me last year and guys I'm trying to be friends with so there is so much pressure for me to be perfect and when I'm fasting and starving it's easier to accept myself and think I'm worth it. Does anyone have the same experiences? I feel so safe when I let my eating disorder take over and it's pulling on me harder than ever. How can I keep healthy when I'm working out a lot and I'm so scared of over eating?
Every meal is up to me and I feel so guilty for choosing to eat every time. I'm getting bullied and I'm spending a lot of time in front of the girls who bullied me last year and guys I'm trying to be friends with so there is so much pressure for me to be perfect and when I'm fasting and starving it's easier to accept myself and think I'm worth it. Does anyone have the same experiences? I feel so safe when I let my eating disorder take over and it's pulling on me harder than ever. How can I keep healthy when I'm working out a lot and I'm so scared of over eating?
deleted_user
If you are so active you need the extra calories. Not having enough is going to cause you to pass out. At some point you will likely start to feel physically weak and no longer have the desire to do all of the great things you are doing. Don't let that happen with yourself. The thing I learned with myself is that obsessing over what you eat causes your diet to become even more unhealthy. I have tried to count calories and instead of 1600 calories a day I would become depressed if I made it over like 700. When you are hungry EAT but keep it healthy. I have the same feelings of guilt with pretty much every meal but I have found that when I have planned out a bunch of healthy snacks like almonds or a bag of veggies and I can feel more confident throughout the day. It is hard to get through some days but not doing it is only setting yourself up to fail at everything else you do and it is never worth loosing something for an eating disorder.
deleted_user
Do you parents know you have ED? If not, tell them. You need professional help immediately and you need the support of your family and professionals like a therapist who is educated in ED as well as a nutritionist who is educated in ED so you can build a menu for yourself that is both healthy, but doesn't deplete you in any way physically. I also recommend the NEDA (national eating disorders website) for guidance and resources. Knowledge and support will give the power back to you and not to your ED.
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