Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

3,896 Members
20,112 Posts
0 Online
Mental Health
/ Eating Disorders Support Group

Returned to hospital

TheED
TheED
Had a big think and decided again that I DID want recovery. So I came back to the hospital last night and getting the tube back in today.. :/

I'm on this thing now called an 'R & R' meaning they can now temporarily force me to be restrained if I tried to run away and stuff again but at least they are being a lot more considerate because they are having to try and remember that I really didn't want to be here. But did come in voluntarily and being really good and compliant, just not able to eat anything orally. Though I was on a 'nil by mouth' meal plan with the ng tube, with only allowed an increased from 200mL to.400mL a day.. which is ridiculous because then they complain I have a low blood pressure, which is raised when I drink more! Anyway, attempt to at this recovery thing, thank-you all who are and have been there for me throughout everything. Xx
saber666
saber666
Im here for you!
TheED
TheED
Thank-you. They put me on an ITO today after a psych finally came to see me.. not really happy with this :/ and they started the tube again after my escape.
ann54
ann54
I understand your feelings about not wanting to be there but I am happy you returned. you are very ill and need the nutrients to live. it must be hard with the tube, try going hour by hour with it. I do not know what an ITO is, would you mind telling me? I wish you the very best!
sarasota34233
sarasota34233
I am so proud of you. You are making the right decision even though it is really hard. You are one strong girl and I am so glad that you are trying so hard to choose recovery. You can do this...I believe in you. Take it one step...one hour...one day at a time. I have faith in you, honey. Message me if you want to.
libbylaz4
libbylaz4
Hi Sweetie. Thinking of you every day. Sophs been taken back in too. Either agree or it would have been forced. So now I will think of you two angels in parallel!! I know you sweet girls can do it! Im very proud of you. Stay in touch. Sending love. Xxx
TheED
TheED
Thanks. The tube is absolutely hideous and messes with my brain and emotions so much. I had a bit of a run in with the security guards last night and pretty much on bedrest. And an ITO is when they force you to be in and stay in hospital. You and your parents don't get to make the decisions and you get punished or dealt with immediately and can't be incompliant. For example if I try to leave they will physically stop me and if I actually did manage to get last them and escape they will get the police to bring me back. Stands for involuntary treatment order. And its a court order forcing treatment such as doctors orders, appointments, compliances and stuff, etc. Thankyou all for being here for me. Means a lot. Hugs Xx
sarasota34233
sarasota34233
I know it must be really hard. I have been on an ng tube several times and it is awful...I hope you can start eating or even drinking your calories soon. Bed rest is horrible as well. I am so sorry that you are going through this but you really need the help to get stronger and so that you can start thinking more clearly again. Know that I am thinking of you and praying that things start to get better soon.
saber666
saber666
Hugs. i feel for you. that must be so scary. but u are so strong. u will beat this
libbylaz4
libbylaz4
I lit a candle for you and Sophia today. You are in my prayers. Shake that monkey off your shoulders. You can do this. I know you want wellness. Think of your beautiful future free from this difficult place you are in. You are such a strong beautiful girl and you can come through this challenge. Sending love. Xxxx dont be afraid. One step at a time.
deleted_user
deleted_user
All I can suggest is work on ALL your distraction plans. Take up a new hobby (if you want to learn how to knit, crochet, cross-stitch, paint-by-number etc and have no restrictions on sharps, NOW is the time), download the new music you want to listen to, USE ALL your phone privileges, get as much sleep as you can, and work on getting it out as SOON as you can.
TheED
TheED
Yeah. I'm trying things like watching movies and tv shows, listening to music and talking, but its just such a struggle as you know. It's just so hard having to consume so many calories and not get them out of my system.. especially with them just watching me the WHOLE time!! :'(

Not being taken into one mental health units for adolescents because I know someone and they said its bad for that to happen and it might after hers or my recovery. So still in medical ward at the moment, but still waiting for a bed.. started being allowed to eat now today, but its such a massive meal plan I can't even begin to explain how hard it would be if I were to actually finish the whole meal, but if I do try and can't finish they still give me 100% of the liquid supplement which for one is like 480 calories, and cant leave hospital until I'm at BMI 20!!! D':
ann54
ann54
kudos to you!! I an so proud of you and I hope you are proud of yourself. it is so exciting though very hard for you to start eating "real" food, just eat as much as you can, it will take time for you and your body adjust to food, but you will overcome this. hugsss
TheED
TheED
Thank-You Xx

Yeah it was an achievement, I even finished my whole dinner, but got caught doing something a little while afterwards :/

I had a really bad night though, and found out the adolescent unit won't take me because my BMI is too high.. Gee, thanks. Where's the support in that? I guess they are just trying to reinforce that and confirm my previous beliefs.. that I DO way too much, and am too fat to need help. Thanks mental health system Australia.. I just felt like completely giving up on absolutely everything :'(
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow, I am SO shocked with BMI 20, mine is not that and I am considered 'recovered'. I have NEVER had a BMI of 20. Many women, especially before they hit their mid twenties will be perfectly healthy between 18-20...
TheED
TheED
Yeah. Besides, the adolescent units want take me because my BMI is too high.. and they want to make it.. HIGHER!!! 20 is ridiculous, even though it definitely wouldn't take long to get there. It all just make it worse once I've been discharged.