Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
Hi all!
wow i havent been on here in like two years...but ive been struggling with the idea of recovery...wen my ed first started i was overweight...at 5'7 i was 191 ..that was in the summer of 2011...since then ive droppeddown to 132 and now since ive cae back from dorming ive gained some weight back ...cuz at school i was not eating
ive been contemplating about recovering becauseim so sick to death of my ed and its taking a toll..i fainted once wen i was at school (it was really scary ...it was the first time it happened) and apparently iim so anemic i can have a heat attack
but im at a normal weight...in the 140s. ....my therapist wans me to go to a residential program because of "how sick my mental state is" but im at a normal bmi...im scared that if i recover now theres no where else to go but u pand ill be overweight again :-(
has anyone ever recovered at normal weight range? did u just maintain? how was it?
wow i havent been on here in like two years...but ive been struggling with the idea of recovery...wen my ed first started i was overweight...at 5'7 i was 191 ..that was in the summer of 2011...since then ive droppeddown to 132 and now since ive cae back from dorming ive gained some weight back ...cuz at school i was not eating
ive been contemplating about recovering becauseim so sick to death of my ed and its taking a toll..i fainted once wen i was at school (it was really scary ...it was the first time it happened) and apparently iim so anemic i can have a heat attack
but im at a normal weight...in the 140s. ....my therapist wans me to go to a residential program because of "how sick my mental state is" but im at a normal bmi...im scared that if i recover now theres no where else to go but u pand ill be overweight again :-(
has anyone ever recovered at normal weight range? did u just maintain? how was it?
Welcome back to the forums. I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling, but glad you are reaching out for help. You don't have to battle any of this alone.
I haven't been in a similar situation myself, so I am probably not the best person to answer your questions. However, I want you to know that just because you are not underweight according to BMI does not mean you are not sick. It does not mean that your struggles are not real. It does not mean that you do not need and deserve help.
Your fears make sense to me. So often, it seems that eating disorder recovery and weight gain go hand in hand. In some cases, that is true, but it is definitely not the case for everyone. The goal of recovery is health, both mental and physical health. Being underweight is not healthy, nor is being overweight, and I am certain no treatment facility would want you to be overweight because that would not be healthy.
As you normalize your eating habits, your weight will normalize. It is possible you have slowed your metabolism from restricting. It is possible that as you begin to eat more normally, you might gain a few pounds. But the body is an amazing thing. As you begin to treat it well again by feeding it healthy amounts, it will begin repairing itself, including metabolism, and your weight will even out. You will not gain weight, and likely, you will be able to eat normal amounts without gaining. You might even lose weight as everything evens out.
Also, I want you to know that not everyone who goes to residential is sickly underweight. In fact, many are not. When I was inpatient, there were patients who were underweight and overweight and anywhere in between. Weight really has very little to do with eating disorders because it is merely a symptom, not the primary problem. If your therapist thinks your mental state is declining to a point where outpatient treatment isn't effective, I would definitely consider residential. Maybe think it through by writing a pros and cons list. Try your hardest to be honest with yourself about where you are in recovery, where you want to go, and what will enable you to get there.
Would it be possible to work with a nutritionist? I think that would really be beneficial. If you went to a residential facility, there would definitely be a dietitian there working with you.
I know it's scary, if not downright terrifying. But you just have to trust...trust your body, trust that everything will be okay, and trust that life is better on the side of recovery.
Take care never give up...I believe in you.