Hello, ann...
I would truly be concerned about your situation, period. Sounds like it is very much time to go and get some medical help. You said you are at the lowest weight you've ever been at. Your body is likely in a weakened state as is due to the anorexia but add purging on top of that and your heart is going to be in for a whole world of trouble if you don't get some help. Sounds like you have a support system in place so why not go and get the help that you need? There is no point in lying to your family about what you are doing to yourself. That is only hurting yourself and chances are, they know anyway.
Overcoming EDs is possible. Give yourself the gift of wellness and go to your doctor. You mentioned you were "afraid" to go. What is causing you to be afraid?

Sorry to hear about your need to purge. I know youve had a lot of stressful things going on in your life for a long time. I wonder if the "positive stress?" of being with your son and daughter had something to do with it. Or maybe did your subconscious mind want them to notice something (as apparently happened) even though you werent able to admit to it.
Telling your sister was fine but I wonder if you should tell Danny too. I expect hes mature enough to understand that you weret able to discuss the deep truth there in the restaurant. He might not be able to help you directly but his support could be important.

thanks for all the input and support. I haven't felt the urge since that day thank goodness but I know that I still did it and it needs to be addressed. maybe I am afraid because of what people will say, hint again at if I don't stop I will go IP, I don't know, my life revolves around fear it seems. I did tell colleen and yes they all did know, she said I had the "look" of someone who just threw up. colleen isn't happy with me and now I have just concerned and worried her more, I maybe made the wrong decision, however they are all adults and we have a very good relationship. I should tell danny as he too is fighting his own weight issues and is very intuned to me, and worries about me, but I will be such a disappointment to him. the dinner was actually stressful, more talk about davids upcoming wedding and his not understanding of my mothers condition that truly inables her and my dad to make such a trip. then it turned to me and getting a different job and I was told I was being negative about everything, cant do that, don't know this etc... I am seeing my pschy/therapist today and I will make myself tell him, likely he will get on te phone and call the clinical doctor. thanks again, hugs

When you tell more about the conversation that was going on during that meal time it kinda makes sense that you were feeling bad. Its an awful situation when you know your own boundaries and limits and other people accuse you of being negative. Of course it does sound negative and, well it is, but still you cant always put into words all the feelings that contribute to your "negative attitude". I have a lot of limits when it comes to jobs. Most people can only see a negative attitude when in reality theres so much more to it than that. However other people who havent been through what I have may be totally unable to understand.
On the other hand its good that you do have personal communication with Colleen and Danny. Im glad the urge hasnt returned and I hope your visit to your therapist went well: