Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

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Mental Health
/ Eating Disorders Support Group

PTSD and ED related

LiVeLoVeLaUgH4eVeR
LiVeLoVeLaUgH4eVeR
Okay so I was talking with my eating disorder support group therapist and she thinks I have PTSD. I do have many health problems that have caused me to go through very hellish diagnostic tests, but I have also been sexually abused. I never put the 2 together, but the eating disorder appeared after the abuse. Anyway, something my friend said triggered me into serious flashbacks and im remembering more and more and its making so much sense now why i developed anorexia. I literally wanted to disappear and did not want to look attractive to anyone. I cannot fully get over the eating disorder because I have not dealt with the abuse....it's so painful. horrible flashbacks, screaming, crying, uncontrollable shaking, etc....

I know I have to work through this in order to fully get rid of ED which i really want, but it's so horrifying for me to even think about talking about it or reliving it :(.

Anyone been in a similar situation or have any ideas or anything ? I really need some help......
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes, I have been through sexual, physical, and mental abuse from both of my parents.

I think my ed stemmed from feeling so ugly on the inside b/c of what was done to me that I thought if I could just get super thin then at least I could be attractive on the outside.

The flashbacks can be intense and they suck, but it is said that they are necessary to remember everything, then address it, and then begin to heal. I don't know that I have made it through those steps myself though...

I don't know if you have come across them, but there are two support I have joined: Sexual Abuse, and Incest Survivors.

Feel free to message me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I had my ed for many years before I even had memories about my sexual abuse that happened when I was 5. My memories came to me about 2 years ago when I was actually doing better with ed and my body was able to handle the stress of remembering. Like you said I thought it was going to kill me and I was so ashamed I couldn't talk to my therapist about it for quite a while, so I wrote it out and let him read it. This was the only way for me to get started. The work is cruel but you will survive and life will be better. Just remember you did nothing wrong. It happened to you and you are the victim. I wish you strength.
LynnLP
LynnLP
I'm sorry you're going through this. It can get better. There are several types of therapies available and your therapist can help you find a good match for you. The work and flashbacks can be painful, but you've already survived it, so remember that. Be gentle with yourself and go at your own pace.

I'm at a fairly productive place in my therapy and have a trauma therapist and an ED therapist. The balance is working, but I have to be aware of not numbing myself with ED symptoms/obsessions.

See how you do talking about this or getting more information. For me, I had to limit my exposure to SA info, including books, etc. It was overwhelming and if you're constantly triggered, then you're outside the "therapeutic window" of being able to process the memories and feelings.

There are also more intensive treatment options if you need that extra support to learn some coping skills. Hang in there! There IS hope!
deleted_user
deleted_user
This is not something I am able to talk about, but I can definitely relate. You are not alone, sweetie.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I figured out quite some time ago that "all" eating disorders are sexual abuse related, or sex related, or rape related, or molestation related, or just knowing someone you are in love with had sex with someone else, or it could be as minor as a man just looking at you in a sexual way that maybe you were not able to handle that kind of look, or just wanting to look good in a sexual way. It is all sex related somehow from Anorexia - Bulemia - Bulemicanorex - Compulsive eating without purging and all the rest of those.
I'm glad you linked the 2 together. That is a big step.
Wait til you discover what all the details of your abuse are linked to "inside of" your eating disorder. It get's mind blowing. But in the end, the pieces of the puzzle all fits, causing everything to finally make sense.