I recently figured out that I probably have what is called orthorexia nervosa. It all started when I was about 20 years old and I had problems with acne which I couldnt get rid of and people recommended me I should change my diet. I stumbeled on books about Macrobiotics and got really excited about it. I started following the diet which started by purging (drinking only lemon tea and organic corn for example) although I was already underweight. My skin got better, but my psychological health got worse. All of a sudden I got fear of gaining weight and also I started to eliminate all the food that is not "healthy" or "organic" from my diet. Im 25 now and I still have this horrible fear. I keep rationalizing it as "I should eat heatlhy so that I dont get some disease." But, I feel so anxious and restricted. Im also opsessed with healthy lifestyle, in general. I always read about what is healthy and what not and than act according to it. I exercise and try to go often on fresh air, try to stay away from the sun, etc. I put so much presser on myself, I dont think I can take it anymore. I feel like I cannot relax. I feel like if I relax, something bad will happen. I know this is irrational, but still I feel this way. Why do I feel this way? Does anyone have similar problems? Also, there is so much about the dangers of being overweight in the media which I think effected me as well. The always talk about losing weight, but what about those who need to gain weight? It is never discussed or mentioned as a danger.