Trigger warning for this post!!! Please be in a stable state with your own eating before reading this I don't want to be the one responsible for a relapse!!

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I'm not doing well. I've been struggling the past 2 weeks with mood and my appatite went completely. It always starts so innocently. I just wasn't hungry...skipped a few meals here and there. I lost some weight and now the compulsion to exercise is always there, I'm skipping all meals apart from breakfast because of my medication. I'm not sleeping because I'm awake all night exercising. I'm not going to work because I'm too tired in the morning to go and too depressed. And now i've just done something I've never done throughout the whole time I've had anorexia... I hid my dinner. I couldn't face it. I didn't want to refuse to eat because my Mum is too busy with her bf's stuff at the moment to deal with my freak out. So I took it up, ate some of the veg so my metabolism doesn't slow or stop and hid the rest in purpose brought nappy sacks I brought earlier.

I know what I'm doing and yet I can't and part of me doesn't want to stop! I just feel like crying. I don't want to go inpatient again and my therapist has already said he was concerned about my weight.

x-Bliss-x