Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I've been diagnosed with anorexia since I was 16.
I'm now 18, and trying to recover from a relapse. My eating disorder is telling me I'm doing the wrong thing.
It is hard to get the support I need from friends.
It would be really helpful if someone could reassure me recovery is the right path.
Welcome to the group! I admire you for reaching out. That can be hard to do. I hope you can recognize that step you took :)
I hear how conflicted you feel about working on recovery - part of you (your healthy self) wants to recover. At the same time, your eating disorder is screaming at you, telling you that you are doing something wrong. I can imagine how tiring that feels, fighting the eating disorder voice, and I hear the uncertainty that you feel, wondering if recovery is the right choice, especially with how wrong it feels at times. It seems contradictory that something good for us could feel so bad, at times.
I wonder if it could be helpful to make a pros/cons list - what are the pros of recovery? The cons? What would be the pros and cons of staying in the anorexia?
I would also encourage you to think about what is important to you in life. What do you value? What sorts of goals and dreams do you have for your future, both short term and longer term? Sometimes it can be helpful to consider what is important to us, what brings meaning to our lives, and then consider how the eating disorder does (or does not) fit into that.
I also understand it can be difficult to get support from friends when it comes to these types of things. Sometimes, it can be hard for others to understand something they themselves have not experienced. A lot of times, I think people want to be supportive, but just aren't sure how. In this case, it can often be helpful if we can ask specifically for what we need... maybe if you know you are struggling to eat lunch (just for example) you could ask a friend to eat lunch with you, or check in with you after lunch time to see how it went. It can feel really scary and hard sometimes to ask others to help us and it take practice, though I think an important part of recovery is learning to ask for what we need. More often than not, others are really happy to help.
I also hope you are able to get the professional support you need. Support - both from professionals, as well as family, friends and peers - is so important in recovery. You definitely are not alone.
I realize I've already written a lot, and also that I don't "know" you, but I want to say that I really do admire you - recovery is hard work. I myself am in recovery from anorexia and like you, have recently slipped up and relapsed and have been working to get to a better place.
I wish I could directly answer your question on whether recovery is the right path, though I think only you can answer that for yourself. And maybe deep inside your soul, you already know the answer. I'd encourage you, if you want, to think more about the pros/cons of recovery vs anorexia, and also about your hopes and dreams for yourself and your future, to help you come up with your answer.
I will say this; I have never known anyone who recovered from an eating disorder and regretted it. It seems like life free from the chains of an eating disorder has a whole lot more to offer than one spent obeying the eating disorder and living by its limited set of rules. I do know that the more you disobey the eating disorder, the more you do the exact opposite of what it tells you to do, the weaker the eating disorder gets, and the stronger your healthy, true self becomes. Recovery will not always feel as hard, or as bad and wrong, as it might feel right now.
Take good care of yourself