Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
Hi! I'm new here. I'm a little nervous as I've never spoken about this with anyone before. I had overcome my disorder years ago, but recently I went down a bad road. Whenever I feel like I've lost control over my life, I turn against my body since it's the only thing I feel like I can control. Sometimes I don't even realize it. I'll be in my kitchen and the next thing I know I'm purging my last binge. I just don't even know how to go about it anymore. I threw out all of my triggers (the things I would normally consume for a binge/purge) but I'll just use my healthy food instead. I'm so tired of restricting of binging and purging and I feel so alone in all of this. It has taken over my life and I really want to just overcome this.
It is very natural when stressed or feeling that you've lost control of your life to turn to a coping mechanism that has worked for you in the past. I say this in the hopes you will be gentle with yourself that you turn to the ED when you are so stressed.
I have learned that ED's are coping mechanisms we use so we don't have to feel our feelings. For many of us the ED was created because we were in an environment where it was unsafe to express our feelings - so we kept them inside to keep ourselves safe. Keeping feelings hidden from the world is very difficult though so we needed something to help us cope and this is where we developed the ED. Some turn to drugs and/or alcohol but many of us turn to food. What I had to do to heal the ED was to heal my traumatic past, learn how to feel again, recognize what the feelings were, allow myself to feel them and then allow myself to express them in safe ways. I also, like most people with ED's, had to work on my self image too. All of this was not an easy or quick process. If this is what you worked on in the past to overcome the ED then it sounds like it may be time to revisit your healing process to see if you are allowing yourself to feel and express your feelings. If this was not a process you followed before then it may be worth looking into to see if it will work for you. If you don't have a therapist right now you may want to consider getting one to help you with this. You can fully heal and you deserve to fully heal. You deserve a life free from the ED. ((Hugs))
Thank you for the kind words. It's nice knowing that I'm not the only one. I have been seeing a counselor for over 10 years now and it helps bc it allows me to express myself which I was never able to do anywhere else. The problem is I don't go as often as I used to. When I was younger, I would see my therapist once a week, but now I'm older and with the regular day to day, it's very difficult to see her more than once every few months. I think I need to work on healing by overcoming the past (as you said). I never did that. I just found another outlet at the time. Do you have any tips? I don't even know where to begin. That's why I joined the group. I was up all night researching and found this. Thank you again for the support! <3
Thank you so much. It's nice that there are people out there who understand my struggle as well and are so supportive and willing to listen/talk to me. Hoping all is well for you too, darling!
Any tips for overcoming the past? My best advice would be to meet with a therapist more often and start talking about it. If you have trauma it will be important to talk about it and allow yourself to feel all those buried feelings because 'feeling is healing'. Even if you don't have a specific trauma (i.e. any type of abuse) you will still need to allow yourself to feel the feelings from your past. If you grew up in a house where it was unsafe to express your feelings that you will want to talk about what went on in your house to make you feel so unsafe. I hope going to therapy more often is something you can fit into your schedule because you really do deserve to heal.