Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

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my daighter

ann54
ann54
one time awhile back when my parents saw colleen she had gained some weight, she has always stuggled with weight one way or another but is beautiful inside and out. my parents commented to me that boy it looks like colleen has packed on some pounds etc.. and I said I think she is beautiful, works hard and basically drop it. now, she has lost some weight, she tries so hard, she is such a hard worker, and when they saw her all they could say was how wonderful she looked how she had lost weight. it makes me mad and sick, why do one only get a compliment due to physical looks, why cant people, esp. family see the beauty no matter what. she finally got attention all because she lost weight, so sad.
AnnaB12
AnnaB12
Will we ever get over physical appearance! It is an obsession in this society. It is ridiculous the way we worship celebrities and base everything on looks. Has anyone else ever noticed how female news anchors (I've specifically noticed meteorologists and traffic reporters) are always gorgeous and very slim yet the men can be totally out of shape and not classically handsome.
Good for you for standing up for your daughter and pointing out her accomplishments that actually matter.
electropro176
electropro176
Used to have this problem with maternal grandma. She's deceased now, but I think it'll be a very long time before I along w/ my mom forget the hurtful things she would say when either of us lost or gained weight. Grandma didn't have a leg to stand on, she was rather large for her height when she died in 2004.
kathywonders
kathywonders
I understand your frustration with your parents. Ive sometimes found my mothers comments about her granddaughter (my brothers daughter) to be unfairly judgemental. However it seems your parents have always admired slim and loathed fat and theyre elderly so thats not likely to change.

It seems it isnt so long ago you mentioned that your father had commented on Colleens weight so her weight loss must have been pretty rapid. I hope she is well and not suffering from "dieting":
eshaw
eshaw
How frustrating! I wish more people knew that eating disorders are not about peoples physical image. Someone of "healthy" bmi can be just as close to death as someone who is way under or over weight. I think you're a great mom to stand up for your daughter and shine light on her accomplishments and inner beauty. She's lucky to have you in her life.
ann54
ann54
thank you all, yes it is very sad. my parents have always been udgemental about looks, esp. weight. I was made fun of all my life. my dad would draw a huge body and a little head on the chalk board and label it apple annie. I would erase it and back it would be. such an effect those things have. another reason I will ot have my daughter treated or spoken about that way.