Hey! This is the first time I've done something like this (join an online support group) and not sure how it works so I thought I'd just introduce myself and then scroll through....I'd rather not say my name, but Im 20 years years old and I have been struggling with bad habits for almost two years now (since the end of high school). It's hard to say I have an eating disorder because I can't bare to think I will be stuck in this cycle the rest of my life, but most would categorize me with Anorexia Nervosa. It started with counting calories that went from 1,200 to 500. Then I discovered purging, so that was honestly my life saver (in terms of not wanting to gain weight) and then I got angry at myself for not being thinner so I started restricting and saw instant results. Now I do a combo of starving all day (or for a couple of days) or starving during the day, binge at night, then purge. It is quite frsustrating feeling the need to look skinny and I don't know why I think this way. I wanna be one of those people who eats whatever the heck they want and exercises enough to keep a balanced lifestyle, but everytime I eat, I can't help but think I am instantly fat. As of right now, I'm sitting here with food in my stomach (has been for 3 hours) and my ED is screaming at me, telling me to throw it up....It's so hard.