Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

3,896 Members
20,112 Posts
0 Online
Mental Health
/ Eating Disorders Support Group

Just another day

mherr25
mherr25

I feel like my eating disorder is just part of who I am now. Like logically I know it's not normal, I know it doesn't define me, but I cannot picture myself without it. After nearly 15 years of it I don't even know who I would be without it.


I'm not thin like I used to be. I have about 15lbs of pregnancy weight left, so it's been harder to be accepting of myself. I struggled with anorexia between 10-15 years old and then turned to bulimia. I'm 25 now. I'm just so frustrated because I find myself purging without thinking twice, even when I haven't binged. Before I could try Ito talk myself out of it. I just feel like it's a 'normal' part of my day now, like having a cup of coffee or going to work. Not something to think twice about or question and I'm trying to work out what's changed in me. 


Sorry if my thoughts seem jumbled, I'm just trying to get them out of my head in hopes that it makes a little more sense.

Cielo77
Cielo77
mherr25, I am sorry that you are experiencing this. There are ways to help you overcome this. Have you tried talking to someone about your dilemma? Try searching for support groups in your area. I encourage you to call this hotline #1-800-931-2237 to begin your healing process. it is all confidential. you can also text "NEDA" to #741741 if you don't want to actually speak to someone. Hugs of encouragement and support. Believe in yourself. You are worth every effort. :)
AudgePodge
AudgePodge
It's so hard to recognize mental illness because it's mental. Our minds embrace it as part of ourselves.
kariann
kariann
Im really sorry to hear that you are experiencing this, my dear. I am 32, and have also been suffering for 15+ years. My ED also started with anorexia and then turned into bulimia. These days, I am good most days and then during tough time I will have a binge and purge episode a few times a week. Sometimes I am able to go months without doing so. It took me a really long time to get to that place. I wish I could say that now is one of those times. It isn't. I was already starting to spiral before the COVID thing hit, and now its getting really hard. I just went grocery shopping to stock up on food for a couple weeks and it is so hard having all this food in the house. Anyway... I know that this was a lot of talk about me... but sometimes I think it is helpful to hear another person's story. I will say that today I almost purged but then decided not to. I am proud of myself for that. A friend of mine told me once that she was able to kick her bulimia after her therapist told her that she is still purging because she still considered it an "option." I know it sounds so obvious and so simple, but she said she had to make it "not an option." And that's what helped her. Maybe this can help us too? Today the thing that helped me was considering how I would feel after I purged. Guilty. Ashamed. Sad. Depressed. I didn't want to feel like that. I felt like I would rather feel bloated and even gain wait than to keep feeling like that. I am tired of feeling shitty about myself. I just want to feel good. And maybe I can learn to accept my body even if I do gain weight. I see women all the time who are heavier than me who I think are stunningly beautiful. They own their shape. They own their beauty. And it shows. I want that. And I want that for you too. I want that for all of us who suffer this way. I hope that we can find this, my friend. Keep going. You are worth it. <3
Prycejosh1987
Prycejosh1987
If its not normal and doesnt define you, then work on what does. These guidelines will help you in your definition of you.