The way I understand that statement is that you are depressed and suicidal because you are in this institution and that you would be better of outside. It's hard to know what they meant without the exact quote but don't think they believe you are faking. They know how desperate you are and that you need care. Maybe they are just not sure about what care.
Anyway I'm truly sorry that you still feel so terrible and know that you are in my prayers. And there is nothing to be ashamed about. You are very brave to voice your feelings.

I am sorry you feel so badly. I spent age 21 to age 31, basically 10 years being institutionalized. It just meant that because I had been hospitalized so much and spent so much time there that I did not know any other way of living. And thankfully my time in the hospital is lessoning now. It actually becomes very helpful in my recovery when i can work through issues on the outside. becuase I get very comfortable on the inside and then I get suicidal and out of it when it comes close to leaving because I don't know any other way and I think I wont be safe. in truth, I will be safe.

You can do this. Today is all we have. and so I live loife one day at a time. sometimes 5 minutes at a time.

It is possible to stay safe. It is possible that some of your suicidal feelings are coming from a fear of living outside the hospital. And there is nothing to be ashamed of. Shame will keep you sick.

I went into a residential step down facility. and I have tune ups so to speak now but I no longer end up hospitalized for everything in my life.

Good Luck. my prayers are with you.

I'm sorry you're going through this! I have had people say similar things to me. I have been hospitalized a lot, and though I needed it, at times it did make my depression and suicidal thinking worse. At the last hospital I was at they only kept me for two days because they thought that being in the hospital was actually bad for me. I don't think that your treatment team meant for you to feel bad or to feel like you don't deserve to be helped. You do deserve help! You just have to find the right kind. I know from my own experience that I grew too used to being in the hospital and started to feel like I couldn't live outside of it. I'm now trying to adjust to living at home and actually living my life. It can be really scary! Don't give up, and please try not to be kind to yourself. OK, I feel like I'm not making much sense, but I just wanted to say that you're not alone!

There's a point where we can become as addicted to the safety of the institution as we are to everything the ED has to bring. Maybe they are thinking that the atmosphere itself is actually dragging you back or that the safety of knowing it's there is also dragging you back. Eating disorders are genetic, period. You have either anorexia on chromosome 1 or bulimia on chromosome 10. That is NOT your fault it is something we have and didn't ask for. Now, people may have the gene and not develop an eating disorder at all. That, too, is not OUR fault. Much of it is brought about my environmental/societal stressors. That is NOT our fault. You can become suicidal because it all feels like your fault. It's not. You can get through this, I swear this to you. I am 35 and I've been where you are. It does get better. If you are confused as to why they feel this way then just say 'could you please tell me what you meant by that' and then you tell them how it makes you feel 'when you say this it makes me feel like I'm not being taken seriously and it also feels like you are marginalizing my pain here.' You need to understand EXACTLY what they meant and they NEED to know exactly how you feel. You are precious.

"It is possible that some of your suicidal feelings are coming from a fear of living outside the hospital"

I'm only a day patient at the moment. I have been IP but I transitioned to day patients in September. The suicidal thoughts have been around since my more severe depression started which was my late years of high school. So it's hard to know why the reasons for suicidal thoughts now would be any different.

It is really hard to figure things out or know what is where etc. if that makes any sense.

being in a transitional position in day patient sounds like a positive move.

I spent a lot of time as a day patient, and it was difficult for me to step down to out patient therapy and seeing my psych doc etc.
One thing that helped me a lot was to plan my days. even it if didn't happen as planned. structure was for me the key to being successful at being away from the hospital. and maintaining socialization and the things that are necessary for life that are built in to hospitals, ip or dayp.

I agree with AnneL, to ask for clarification would be a positive and healthy proactive part of your recovery.

It does get better. It is not your fault either. and there is nothing to be ashamed of. prayers and hugs