this poem was inspired by the first therapy exercise in "life without ed". i've been reading it and it's really been helping. the first exercise is to declare independence from the ED. since i am much better at writing or singing my feelings than talking about them i wrote this poem. It was also heavily inspired by the martina mcbride song independence day. TW behaviors mentioned in one stanza

#107 Independence Day June 25, 2011
Today is not the Fourth of July
But it is the day that I declare
The devil monster EDNOS
The eating disorder that attacked me iun sixth grade
Will no longer rule my life and mind
No longer am I afraid
Of living without her in my life
Today is my independence day

"Let freedom ring
Let the white dove sing
Let the whole world know that today
Is a day of reckoning
Let the weak be strong
Let the right be wrong
Roll that stone away
Let the guilty pay
It's independence day"

To you
EDNOS monster
All I have to say
Is you are wrong

I WILL make a full and complete recovery

For I know The One Who is
The Life, The Truth, and The Way
He loves me for who I am
Not for my size
Or the measure of myt thighs
With Him on my side
I will have victory
If he is with me
Who can be against me?

No one
Not even you

I'm so done with you
So over your twisted game of thinness
And your dangerous
Head-spinning
Long
List of rules

"Binge when you're mad
Starve when you're sad
Go on a diet when you feel fat
And count calories till you know exactly how many
Are in every bite you eat
When you go out
Eat this
Not that
The lower the calories, the better
So,
Eat this
Not that
Otherwise, youll just get fatter
Feel guilty when you eat fast food
Then get in a mood
Because youre not a size two.

Really EDNOS really?
Who made you the authority on health and beauty?
Nobody!
As far as I can tell
All you do is ruin lives!
You sure have done a number on mine!

My stomach hurts each time I eat
No matter what I do
And each day when I wake up
I pray that I wont give up on me
And give into you today
Because as much as I hate you
You are such a part of me
That I didnt even know anything was wrong
Until then
Following your rules and playing your games
Was just my routine
That routine ends today
No more games

Let freedom ring
Let the white dove sing
Let the whole world know that today
Is a day of reckoning
Let the weak be strong
Let the right be wrong
Roll that stone away
Let the guilty pay
Its independence day

Today devil monster EDNOS
I, Fallon Marie, declare
That I will dare
To go wherever God sends me
And do whatever it takes
Make any changes I need to make
To let you go
And get to know
My Savior more intimately
Jesus Christ
Was sacrificed as payment for my sins
So I could know the freedom that resides in Him
Not so I could play your twisted game of thinness


I dont care how long it takes
I want every person I know with an ED
To declare independence in some way
So we can all be free to have and enjoy our lives
Talk about your revolution
Its independence day
Fallon Marie