You don't want to be skin and bones...most of the people here don't want to be either. That's WHY they're here.

You can stay on the track you're on...cause you are a survivor...there are lots of things that I've done in my life that make me feel the same way...but...that doesn't make me a failure...that makes me a successor. And that's much better.

Don't bring ED back into your life...don't you remember the hell you went through?? It's not worth it. Just remember, you're strong now, you're healthy now...and bringing him back would be falling back into the crevices. And you deserve so much more. *hugs*

Please don't bring ED back.

Skin and bones? ha? i laugh at that. have been 5 foot 4 and 135 lbs most of my life. not skin and bones but full of fat i suppose. you do not want your ED back. Do you know what this has done to me? I have lost years. since i was 14 obsessing about what i look like and doing this...binge/purge/binge/purge/starve/starve/ eat normal/binge/purge/binge/purge.etc....

I used to think because I wasn't one of those girls that drove from drive thru to drive thru devouring food i din't have a problem. so wrong.....simple fact. i hate my body...i hate the fact i was bullied all through school and i didn't express myself. one way i could freaking throwing up. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHenough.

You're going to stay in recovery! It's true when they say you can never be thin enough. Each time you think you are, you'll want more. Then your hair starts to fall out, your womanly shape reverts to childish straightness, people avoid you because they don't know what to say to you.
I really, really understand what you mean,but it doesn't matter how ill you've been. I've never been hospitalised, I force myself to eat so I can be healthy enough to raise my kids, but that doesn't mean you and I don't have a problem.
Your worth shouldn't be measured on how thin or ill you are. You sound as if you have a really low self-esteem and maybe that, along with the recurring power of an eating disorder, is warping your thinking.
You're more than an illness. Stay well, resist the urge to revert. Can you talk to a counsellor about how inadequate you're feeling? I hope so much you can look again at yourself in a kinder way.

you are worth more because youre not skin and bones.
you are more adequate because you managed to avoid being sick enough to be hospitalized. Release this guilt, love. It's time to live now.

I've been where you are - wanting it back. And being guilty (and jealous) of those who are still in the throes of restrictive eating, when I'm on the other side with BED or COE, or just plain eating healthy. For so many reasons, but because it is a coping mechanism. A hugely negative one, but a coping mechanism nonetheless. And when you let go of ED, you have to start dealing with your life in new ways. And that is a scary, scary thing.

Ask yourself...what do you *really* want back? Because it isn't the thinness, even though we focus on that. Is it the feeling that when you're in your ED you are being "correct" because that is how you learned to measure your self-esteem? Is it the obsessive thoughts, because you don't have to focus on a harsher reality? Is it just plain scary to be at a point where you REALLY might be giving it up?

Talk to your therapist to work on this, so you can keep up your recovery and maybe address some issues that might hold you back from progressing further. This is ED's trap to pull you back in. Fight back. Your life is so much more than starving or purging or binging yourself into a corner.

im startin to feel like u now,im trying to recover but am scared at the same time,but thibnk about it,do YOU want ED back,or is ED calling/begging to come back?
think of the you before ED,would she give even acknowledge ED?
i think not!!
be strong!!xxx

Oh hun I'm sorry you are struggling. And just because you weren't hospitalized so to say does NOT mean that you are inadequate and did not have a problem. I have found myself reassuring soo many people that even when you go IP, people are ALL different shapes and sizes (not always what you would expect in your head). You do NOT have to be on your death bed to be "sick enough". And honestly, even if you were skin and bones... this disease clouds that and you STILL wouldnt completely think it. Its so much more mental warfare than anything. You are FORTUNATE to be able to have your body in a place that is not critical and you dont have numerous health problems to worry about aswell.Take advantage of that! (though I know how the words "healthy" and such can be evil in our heads all at the same time). It is a horrible coping mechanism and its scary as hell to not know what its like to do good for ones self and not feel so damn guilty about it. Its the "stinkin' thinkin'" that is pulling you in. Dont let it. I dont think you truely want your ED back. Its just the fear of..."well who am I now"? Stay strong sweetie...you are better than this. I keep telling myself everyday...work on the body, keep that stable...the mind will catch up later.*Hugs*
~Jessica~

be honest, you know your ed is/was never about the weight really. It's way more than that. And this myth that you have to be skin and bones to be qualified as having an ed is horribly wrong. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone. You were sick and you have to focus on all of the things that you lost because of it. You don't want to lose it all again do you? You are not worthless and don;t let anyone ever tell you that.

i've felt like that to, but everyone is right, ED is not worth going back to, YOU are worth SO much more

Think about how miserable you were with ED and how he distroyed your body, spirit and happiness. Do you really want that back?