Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

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omgMuffins 04/28/2008

May be triggering.

So, today I purged for the first time in months. I've been thinking about it, but I didn't think I'd do it. But I did. I walked across campus. Went into the bathroom stall. Put my purse, jacket, and bookbag out of the way, and I purged. It was so easy. Like a forgotten friend you run into and just click back into place. IT SCARES ME! I don't want to relapse. I don't want to be anorexic. I don't want to be bulimic. And I'm scared.. Shitless. I'm restricting. I'm tired and irritable and sick of being recovered. I'm sick of being fat. But I don't want this!

Someone, anyone, give me advice on what to do? I can't tell people what's going on. I'm supposed to be better.. Can anyone help?

deleted_user 04/28/2008

I guess my advice would be to, well, tell someone IRL. I know you feel you're "supposed to be" better. But with an ED, I don't think there is room for a "supposed to be". If you are struggling, there is nothing weak about that.

Relapsing is very scary. It is also very real. A situation has presented itself in front of you and it is giving you a choice. Choose now, choose life. An ED is not (what I consider) life.

Being in recovery is scary, but for me, being dead is scarier.

Take care.

deleted_user 04/28/2008

first know that it's not the end of the world. you stumbled a little bit but that does not mean that all the work you have done is out the window.
just relax and know that tomorrow is a new day. dont forget what happened today, learn from it. what is going on that made you feel the urge to relapse?

deleted_user 04/28/2008

you slipped you didnt relaps....its tough i know..can you tell your campus therapists or doctor...they can really help you....you need to tell someone who can really help....do something now, so that things dont get worse...stay here and get support you need....there could actually be a group therapy session in your school....ask and see what services they have there.....

deleted_user 04/28/2008

You didn't do anything bad, so don't be so hard on yourself. It's not your fault. You really just need to have someone to talk to and to call whenever you are feeling those urges.

deleted_user 04/29/2008

I am dealing with the same thing. I just recently started throwing up again. I relapsed. I think the only thing that you can do it so tell someone or go and get help. Thats the only way to end this disease. I called my therapist as soon as I started throwing up again. She was able to talk to me and give me great advice. It just felt really good to talk to someone about it. I would tell someone.

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