Eating Disorders Support Group
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Been really depressed for months whilst in treatment for several things. But since Saturday I have had this 'heightened' mood.
Does anyone think it's a problem that I still feel suicidal? I mean...suicidal as in, if someone was to say OK you can go and do it. I wouldn't hesitate at all. I WANT to do it. The ONLY reason I won't is because it will hurt my family. My therapist doesn't know I still feel like this. Should I tell him?
Plus, because I know at the moment I can't kill myself. The self harm urges are there constantly and I'm not worried or scared about those either. Again I want to do it. The only reason I haven't is because I don't understand my reasoning behind it.
The same for the Anorexia. I'm not scared of it. Before I was upset because it scared me. But now I just feel completely different.
Since I've been in this 'heightened mood' since Saturday, I think about these thoughts and I'm just not bothered. It doesn't scare me at all.
Is this a good thing or not?
x-Bliss-x
Does anyone think it's a problem that I still feel suicidal? I mean...suicidal as in, if someone was to say OK you can go and do it. I wouldn't hesitate at all. I WANT to do it. The ONLY reason I won't is because it will hurt my family. My therapist doesn't know I still feel like this. Should I tell him?
Plus, because I know at the moment I can't kill myself. The self harm urges are there constantly and I'm not worried or scared about those either. Again I want to do it. The only reason I haven't is because I don't understand my reasoning behind it.
The same for the Anorexia. I'm not scared of it. Before I was upset because it scared me. But now I just feel completely different.
Since I've been in this 'heightened mood' since Saturday, I think about these thoughts and I'm just not bothered. It doesn't scare me at all.
Is this a good thing or not?
x-Bliss-x
I think its best to always share everything with your therapist...
I wish you the best...
No, I don't believe that's a good thing. xo
Life really does get better if you give it a chance, but if you off yourself you will never know how wonderful things can be.
Earlier in my life I went through a LOT of bad patches when I wanted to end it all, and I am so glad I stuck it out. Because now my life is more beautiful than I ever could have imagined it could be!
So yes. Tell your therapist what you just told us! =)
Whether he got it or not I don't know. He didn't respond to it at all. There wasn't a conversation about it or anything.
I left the session feeling completely...I don't even know how to describe it.
All the way home I held everything in. As soon as I walked through the door I just burst into tears.
So I'm not scared of suicide or self harm anymore? Then why this reaction? I still feel like I couldn't give a damn. I WANT to die...especially now! So why did him not reacting to what I told him upset me so much.
Oh I forgot. It's because I'M FUCKED IN THE HEAD!!!
hope your feeling a bit better, what did you want him to say to you when you told him? Were you looking for someone to say don't do it?
Maybe it was coz you had made yourself the most vulnerable you could and you didn't get that comforting shoulder?
I don't really know but i do hope your ok and hope you carry on opening up and sharing your fffeelings.
take care
M