Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I hate being told I'm fat. I used to look in the mirror and see a beautiful girl. Now I see everything that's wrong with me. I feel embarrassed to eat in public because I feel like everyone is staring at me. The "dear fat people" video on youtube destroyed me. After that I made myself throw up. I don't know what to do. I just feel fat.
I am sorry that anyone told you that you are fat. It's sad that we live in a culture, a global culture, that says we must look a certain way to be accepted. I have not seen the video that you speak of and will not look at it - I hope no one else here feels the need to watch it either - but please remember it was created by someone who has no right (and probably no clue at all about this topic) to be so hurtful to anyone. I wish I knew why people felt the need to be so hurtful to others but I don't. All I know is you, and all of us, are beautiful no matter our size.
If you are starting to purge after you eat please do tell someone you trust that this is happening. It's so important that you catch this early and get help for it early. ED's are coping mechanisms we use because we feel it's not safe to show/express our emotions. For example: when you saw that video you said it destroyed you and I understand that feeling very well. I am sure you felt angry and a tremendous amount of hurt. It was those strong feelings that caused you to want to purge. Please please tell someone you trust that this is happening. Even if it's a friends mother you tell, please tell someone. You don't have to struggle with this for a lifetime like so many of us have. You can get support and help for it so you can live a wonderful full happy life. The life you deserve to live. ((Hugs))
You deserve to live a healthy happy life free from ED, so please consider getting help. Thank you for reaching out here and sharing a little bit of your story.