Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
hiya! it's proxi. i'm back because it's gotten worse lol. i can go maybe a week or two, eating whatever i want, however much i want, etc. and not feel a thing until i look in the mirror. i've put on a lot of weight. i'm begging myself not to look at thinspo. i'm begging myself not to fast again (we all know how that turns out lol). i've never purged because i already despise the feeling of throwing up even when i'm actually ill and i know i need to. so basically i feel hopeless. the worst part of it is, i'm 16 (nearly 17) and i'm not in control of what foods come into the house. lately every time i try to tell myself i'll get better, i'll resist temptation, i'll eat healthier and on a regular basis, my mother's boyfriend brings home a calorie-rich muffin, or cookies or poptarts or sugary drinks like starbucks frappucinos and i just break. i cave immediately. and then i get angry at him as if it's his fault for me not having any self control. it's a vicious cycle and it's so exhausting.
-
-
Today I filed an application online for three things from the State of New Jersey. I surprised myself! I wasn't expecting to do it but one thing led to another and I did it. I've been putting it off. Another thing that I'm feeling good about is my outside kitties. They aren't running away anymore and let me get quite close. Two of them were relaxing on my steps a little bit ago. I...
It is so hard when others bring food into the house that is triggering. My mother always did that. She still brings food to my home but always says its for my husband. Like that helps. Geesh!
Keep chatting with us!
((Hugs))
the bad food and have a piece of fruit, small bag of popcorn, cheese stick
and crackers. It's a start. And you have to start somewhere.
I definitely sympathize with what you are saying about not having control over what food is brought into your house. However, what I will add to that is even when I DID have control over what food was around I still had an ED. It helped marginally but not significantly. Your ED will not magically disappear when you have absolute control over what food comes into your house, it will just manifest itself in different ways (couldn't tell by your post if you are bulimic, anorexic or BED). The issue isn't the food - it's your response to it and that fact that you have disordered eating issues that is the problem. Food will always be around - it's a necessary part of living but with help (from therapy, usually) you can gain perspective on how to view food and it's function in a totally different way. EDs are never actually about food but rather an inner emotional turmoil that we're trying to control with our eating, or lack of it. Have you considered seeing a therapist just to have someone to talk to?
Good luck and I hope you keep us updated on how you're doing:)
Jen