Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

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EmmaammE 08/07/2008

just to warn you im about to let off steam.....

I havent taken laxatives, purged, binged or done anything im not suppose to do so why do i feel so crap? ive been so extremely tired this week yet i just cant sleep, i lay wide awake in bed. I strive to stay awake in the day so i sleep at night but i still cant sleep. My head is spinning i fell a bit light headed and my stomach hurts so much its burning and i feel sick! AGHHH what does it matter? i take laxative and i feel crap and i dont take them and i feel crap roll on the weekend wen i can let all the bad out with my laxatives. I dont ask for much just to be able to sleep but apparently thats too much. i so badly want to cut to numb the pain. I ate choclate cookie cake today and now i feel like a lardy cookie i let the chocolate beat me. i lost to a cookie. why why why.

Im sorry please dont be mad at me

deleted_user 08/07/2008

i'm sorry you feel so bad..

deleted_user 08/07/2008

**hugs**Am on if you need to talk

EmmaammE 08/07/2008

my head hurts so much pain (headache) and so much confusion.

deleted_user 08/07/2008

It sounds like you might not be getting enough food... are you restricting at all? What you are doing is tremendous! Keep in mind that your body still needs adequate nutrition... maybe if you are able to eat with others and plan activities for after meal times you can try to make sure you are eating enough and that you have distractions from the urge to binge/purge. And chocolate cake is ok... it's yummy :-) Don't beat yourself up about it. Tomorrow is a new day.

EmmaammE 08/07/2008

i eat when i forget myself and then remind myself that im not hungry just greedy. im usually not hungry wen i eat. my dietian same chocolate a sweet stuff was ok but she lied.

deleted_user 08/07/2008

You are ABSOLUTELY not greedy for wanting food. I know I don't know you personally or about your situation, but it's important to believe that it is ok to eat, and that you deserve food. Do you have regular meals or a meal schedule/plan? These help me to remove some of the emotion involved in eating.

deleted_user 08/07/2008

How about some fresh air and exercise?

deleted_user 08/07/2008

Don't get mad at me for asking this. I'm not trying to put something in your head. But you wouldn't by the wildest stretch of the imagination be bipolar would you? The can't sleep thing with the high anxiety...

deleted_user 08/08/2008

Sounds like you are really struggling and I hope you stay strong. You need to keep eating without purging and no cutting. Your body has to get used to this new healthier lifestyle, that's why your stomach is burning. Even harder is your emotional state of fighting ED 24/7. You are doing great hon and don't give into those dangerous urges. Have you thought about getting on sleep meds for a while until your mind calms down a bit. I know meds aren't the solution, but they can give you a break. You need some rest to keep a clear head.

deleted_user 08/08/2008

Emma, Emma, Emma, Is it that you are using laxitives to rid yourself of the other meds? Of course your dietician is right, you can have comfortable foods and uncomfortable foods, you should also have a treat, whether it be a food, cinema, hairdressers, or somesuch, don't use laxitives as a treat. YUK YUK, Love ya Fane xxxxxxxxx

EmmaammE 08/08/2008

thanks for taking the time to comment x x x

im not on any meds anymore i was given the go ahead from the dr to come off them coz i didnt want them anymore and she thought it was safe for me to stop. I dont have bipolar. All food is uncomfotable at the moment, everytime i put something in my mouth i feel a failure.

deleted_user 08/08/2008

Good, then ruling out bipolar, I can say, I do this too. My mind works like 1,000 miles an hour sometimes and sleep is impossible. Yet without it, I retreat more and more into bad behavior. Whatever it takes to get sleep, I'd do it. Even if you have to go back to a little bit of medicine. I can handle almost anything if I sleep well. Otherwise, it's a toss up as to whether I'll be OK or a wreck. Have you ever tried the thing where you tense all of your muscles and then relax them one by one? It sounds lame, but now and then, it actually works. Good luck, sweetie.

deleted_user 08/08/2008

apparently it takes a bit to adjust to the not abuse phase, you'll feel crap now but better later, think its something we all need to go through to get better, well done for you for sticking to it hon, ive not even attempted it at all, im too affraid! I don't sleep, it's a mental choice to try make myself too tired to think, it's not good so try figure out what is preventing you from sleeping hon. *hug*

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