I truly know how you are feeling. I remember getting out of i/p and felt like I couldn't win. You don't want ED to win. You are a bigger and better person. You deserve your life, not losing it to this shit! I am not going to say it's easy, what I am saying is, keep fighting!

I totally know where you are coming from. I am yo-yo-ing with my food intake but no matter what I do my weight is stayingg right were it is as well. I HATE IT! I cant stand myself and the way I look. I have restricted but then end up overeating later to "make up" or just because I crave it, and then I just feel as bummed because I didn't "succeed". I feel like right now I need to stick to a meal plan and no matter what eat just what is said, no more and NO LESS. Restricting only leads to overeating later for me usually. Trying this could help you too, i worked for me in the past, so I am thinking this is the best way for now. Feel free to use me to vent and I'll be a friend for you to use on DS anytime! I am right there with you

Amen to that! Although when I binge I gain considerable amounts of weight. I'm a compulsive overeater/binge eater and I am always monitoring my food intake and weighing myself. It is an obsession for me. It drives me nutty! But when I can go with some time without binging I feel less obsessed. I've cut out some trigger foods...like sugar...and some carbs, and junk food, and I eat just three meals a day with nothing in between. I've not had sugar for a year. But I've been binge free for only about a week. I keep having food dreams. I wake up thinking that I've messed up again. All of the mind craziness is a lot to deal with. I try talking it out with my counselor, going to an OA support group, or coming here. I haven't been to OA for a while but it really helped me get started. I for a while saw a doctor and he tried to prescribe me Topomax for binging but it just made me tired...you could ask about that...or I have also seen nutritionists...but that obviously doesn't cure the ED .... I don't know if any of that helps but...I empathize and wish you the best.

All I can say is that is gets better.

Your body is craving food because it was denied for so long and wants to make sure it has reserves for the next "famine" it encounters.

It will take time for your weight to settle.

The best advice I can give you is to throw the scales away, and only get weighed by professionals as part of a recovery programme, dietician help and cognitive behaviour therapy. Try and find some ED specialist help, get rid of those scales, put it like this a piece of inaccurate metal is ruling your life, they are not accurate firstly, and secondly, your body does not absorb and accumulate weight in this way so regular weighing is absolutely pointless.

One of the most important things for you to do is to get rid of your scale!!! It's a very hard thing to do, but it will be extremely hard to get better as long as you have one in the house. Something I've learned is that obsessing about weight is really more about feelings. Start seeing a counselor if you can and never give up! ...And get rid of that scale!!!