I understand honey...ya know I passed out during class one day while in college? I wasn't feeling too hot..(no food for days duh!) The guy I had a crush on walked me to the nurse and I totally fainted on the steps he carried me to the nurse...I knew how bad it was but...doesn't mean it didn't feel right at the same time...just keep telling yourself that ED doesn't know what he's talking about, he is like a controlling, abusive boyfriend who only tells you what he thinks you should do and believe. Missy you are a brilliant girl and I admire you so much...you can beat this...but you need to want too.
Much love

*hugz* first of all welcome! thank you for sharing with us. Just so you know, there is NEVER anything you could say that would make me feel like i was wasting my time. If you ever want to talk, feel free to email/add me :).

I didnt think it was a waste of time at all, coz i can totally relate!
I cant believe your Dr.s are giving up like that! Dr.s can be so un-supportive! An it sounds to me like part of you deos want recovery anyway!
Something to remember though is that Ana thinks it feels right, YOU dont. If that makes any sense!?
I think what you should do is find a goos Dr, or get back in touch with the one you stopped seeing and take things slowly.
Your weight is really low, you definitly have to get help. I hope ya do.
Ive started revovery an the first few weeks were a nightmare, but im starting to feel like im getting my life back, its amazing and you deserve that aswell!
Good luck
xx

i hope the drs who "dropped" you have refered u to somewhere where u can talk bout ur nderlying issues,seems to me ur like me a bit,iv been "dropped" by the ed docs till im ready to get better,i thought i was,but apparently not,
please seek help for those issues,whatever they may be,seems to me eds'voice is covering up all the pain of those issues and untill u start talkin bout them,he will always be there

please win the fight ...not him!!
u deserve so much more.
good luck.xx.

I'm going to be completely honest with you since I've known you for a while now. You are not ready to change and I know you know that. You've been through treatment and you are back to the same point you were at before treatment. No doctor is going to be able to help you if you are not ready to be helped. I am in the same position as you and I have been drooped by my doctor, therapist, and dietitan because they said I was not ready to change and there is nothing they can do if I am not ready. At least you know what you are doing is not healthy and you know your weight is not healthy. That's the first step.

you may want to get better, but you want to be skinny more.

you have to realize that therapy is NOT a scam to get you ugly and fat...it is a system of people who are deathly worried about you and are reaching out to help...they want you to be normal sweetie. not fat. just normal. normal people are beautiful too, right? they are! you know what else...normal people get a chance to live their lives...but people like you, people like how I used to be...they don't get that. they just get to look like a skeleton (which people hate to look at, and never find beautiful..)and feel trapped inside their own body and mind.

TRUST YOUR DOCTOR! TRUST YOUR PARENTS, YOUR FRIENDS, WHOEVER IT IS TRYING TO HELP YOU!!!!!

Trust them and know that they are going to allow you to LIVE to BREATHE to take a step into the sun and EXPERIENCE what is out there. (being healthy won't prevent that...it will allow it.)

The fact is, you are six feet tall and you weigh 110 lbs. That is not something that people are jealous of, people don't WANT to be like that...people feel sorry that you are. Sounds harsh, but you have to get it in your head that you ARE in an EXTREME danger zone...and I'm not just exagerating to make you go to the Dr. YOU ARE NOT HEALTHY YOU ARE VERY SICK YOU NEED TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE!

I would challenge you to really consider what you said about it feeling so right. Because we all know, if we're really honest with ourselves- acting out in our ED does NOT feel "right" or "good"... it doesn't make us "happy"... it doesn't make people like us more. It makes us feel weak and dizzy and sick and all WRONG. Think about it. Why are we really doing this? To find happiness? It aint never gonna happen this way. That's what I'm trying to remind myself of.