I wish you would go into a bit more detail so I could give you some constructive support. Anyway, phases of deression and such can last quite some time but you have to remember that better times are ahead and that you just can't give up. You are in my prayers.

What do you mean by more detail?

And thank you x

What exactly is shitty: ED, depression, anxiety. Did something trigger you?

I totally understand thise abandonment issues my mum used to make it clear that when she ad to take me to therapy when i was younget that i was wasting her time and it makes you feel awful.. Then recently my doctor has cut down sessions and they cant offer me any other help, i just feel like a waste of space and have this awful sinking feeling- is that similar to how you feel?

I actually completely disagree with these professionals calling you these things, it is so nasty and especially their position and the vunerable state you are in.

You must keep talking to us sweetheart, i am here for you and im sure you have many more friends on here also who are. I feel you pain, lots of love Jen xx

Thanks for your reply jen it helps to know people understand.

Karrin - sorry it took a while to respond. Been at day patients. Everything is going wrong at the moment to be honest. Weight has been consistantly dropping since being discharged, mood is all over the place (different levels of low mood) sometimes I'm low and can cope and other times it's just completely overwhelming. It comes in waves and I just lose control of it. Because I never know how I'm going to be my anxiety is up too. I can tell this just because my paranoia is showing it's ugly face again. Just having a hard time in general and feel i'm going backwards and instead of it getting easier to manage, it's getting worse.

x-Bliss-x

I'm so sorry. It really sounds like you are going through hell. Are you restricting or is your weight just going down from all the stress? I hope you can eat something healthy.
Also do think that maybe you need a med adjustment? Sounds like nothing is working right now. Give your doctor a call. hugs

Unfortunately a med increase is out of the question. 'The Team' at the hospital believes that therapy is the answer and doesn't want to try any new medication or increase the dose. Despite being suicidal at times. Their belief is that I just need to 'sit with it and BE depressed'.
...which to me sounds rediculous but I can't argue with them...

I have been restricting yes but I think there is an element of stress in it as well.

x-Bliss-x

I read a couple of your journals. I can see how you're feeling so down. It doesn't seem like you're getting much support and you seem to be downward spiraling b/c of that. We are here for you even if your own mom can't seem to make the effort. I know you feel as though your therapist and key person were attacking you. They shouldn't have said you were all those things; they should have said you were expressing those behaviors b/c there is a difference. We all share the same hope and spirit. Things will get better! Give yourself a break and life will too. Hugs!!!

Sitting with the depression is something i could not disagree more with. When i was 15 this was told to my mom at a family therapy and thats what i had to do.

It lead me down a horrible path, and i ultimately came to the conclusion that my life was dead.

I dont know if anyone else found this helpful but i strongly disagree with this. I am not saying block things out but def not sit and go over and over things! x