Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
Hi everyone,
I am new to daily strength and to this group. I joined daily strength group primarily so that I could join an eating disorder group. I don't think that I have an eating disorder, but I do have a disordered relationship with food. I have always struggled with body image issues, but over the last six-seven months I have started to eat less and less, to the point where I was eating only one meal a day. I have come to the point where I really want to take care of myself, but I am terrified of being fat. Almost every time I eat, I feel so guilty and feel like I have to compensate by not eating the next day. I do not have anxiety, but about three months ago I started having panic attacks. After a while, I started noticing a pattern. I would have my worst panic attacks when I hadn't eaten a full meal in a couple days. Now, I am scared to not eat something because having panic attacks is scary and it's something I really don't want to have to experience any more. That being said, I have such mean thoughts to myself whenever I do eat now. I really want to heal and love myself right now and not be mean to myself. It's just really hard to control those thoughts. I also feel very isolated and alone in my struggle. So basically, after all my ranting, I just want to be here to see I'm not alone.
Thanks for reading!
I really don't think it matters whether you technically have an "eating disorder" or not. It's really just a label, anyway. I think the fact of the matter is that you have described some pretty serious patterns in your opening post that definitely send up some warning flags that you may be emerging yourself in some dangerous habits. Eating disorders are best treated in their early stages (or as closest to onset as possible). As the years wear on it becomes harder to undo the entrenched habits that we have subjected our mind and bodies to. My advice would be to get yourself some professional help in the way of a counsellor or eating disorder specialist asap. Eating issues are rarely, if ever, about the food - they are tools we use to cope with inner issues and emotions that are unresolved within us. It's very hard to work through these issues on our own hence the suggestion of professional help.
Also, keep posting here. It really does help to have people that know exactly what you are going through and will help support you in a totally non-judgemental way:)
Good luck
Jen
Thank you so much for your replies. Jen, it is really validating to hear you say that I need help. To be honest, I'm terrified to hear that I am overreacting or that it's all in my head. I'm also scared that people won't believe me because I may not "look" like I have a "disorder." I totally agree with you that it's just a label and it can make a lot of people feel like they don't have disordered relationship with food just because it doesn't fit into one category. Thanks for all of that! I am getting counseling right now but I don't talk often about food and thought processes with eating often and I'd like someone who can understand or is specialized in that area. Thanks for that suggestion.
Aspiring ballerina, I am so sorry you can relate, but I'm glad to know I'm not alone. I completely relate to the cycle of feeling guilty and binging, then not eating anything. I am the exact same way (obviously not exactly, I don't know the extent to which you struggle with it or how much and what not). I'm so sorry and we are certainly in it together!!! Thanks for the replies and support!