Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
HELP! I am in a full relapse (major trigger warnings) and cannot see anything before me except ED. I have been losing weight again and barely 3 digits on the scale. One day last week I didnt even make that . I went to get my body fat tested thinking that this will alert someone and maybe they will kick me in the butt (if I had one) but instead, I got a wow, that is awesome, great job! I have no idea where he got his training certificate but I barely had the essential body fat percentage for a MAN. My cat weighs more than I have in body fat. Needless to say, I walked out of the office on a complete high thinking, I must be ok. This disorder is what is all in my head. I only think I have a problem when clearly I must not since I must look as good as I think I do because no one seems to think any different. I know that if I didnt body build then I probably would look very sick but having so much muscle seems to disguise the underlying emaciation. I can literally see my heartbeat under my skin so I know that is not good. I am fully consumed with my exercise. I broke one of the shocks on my stepper this am with 3 minutes left to go. No biggie, as I have extra shocks. But instead of calling it for the morning, I did 8 minutes on the bike to make up for it. Another 1.5 total hours of uninterrupted, self-destructive freedom. This freedom is killing me, although not literally because my last health assessment came back with flying colors. I know I am lucky and I can attribute my still being healthy to the very clean very nutritious foods that I eat. I just only eat about a quarter of what I should.
I apologize for this being a very triggering post, but I have nowhere to voice this. My struggle is mine and mine alone. I have no family or friends to reach out to. My therapist, whom I havent seen in 2 months, knows nothing about eating disorders. The only eating disorder center near me wont take me. Last year they recommended that I go to in patient and since I refused, they wouldnt see me at all. I am stuck and not sure what to do from here. However, if I follow the lead from those around me, there is nothing to do, guess I am ok. Any advice? Thanks in advance.
I apologize for this being a very triggering post, but I have nowhere to voice this. My struggle is mine and mine alone. I have no family or friends to reach out to. My therapist, whom I havent seen in 2 months, knows nothing about eating disorders. The only eating disorder center near me wont take me. Last year they recommended that I go to in patient and since I refused, they wouldnt see me at all. I am stuck and not sure what to do from here. However, if I follow the lead from those around me, there is nothing to do, guess I am ok. Any advice? Thanks in advance.
Another suggestion, I know that OA has been a real help for me. If you're not familiar, the name is misleading (overeaters anonymous) as it's really for eating disorders of any kind. There are several people in my meeting that are anorexic or bulimic. It's a 12 step program for eating disorders. Plus it's accessible because you just donate whatever you want at each meeting (usually like 2 or 3 dollars, but even that isn't required) and anyone is welcome that wants to recover from their eating issues.
I hope you get some type of help soon, it sounds like you're in a dangerous place.
Thanks for the advice on OA. What worries me is seeing someone I know. My job entails a lot of work with others in the community and I would be mortified if I ran into anyone I knew. I also don't really believe in God or a higher power so I am not sure how I would apply the 12 steps... but I will do some checking to see if there are any sort of meetings maybe in a nearby city. Athough... I sounds weird to sneak away for therapy... anyway, thanks again for your response!!