Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

3,896 Members
20,112 Posts
0 Online
Mental Health
/ Eating Disorders Support Group

He May Be A Trigger?

omgMuffins
omgMuffins
Well, my boyfriend has been all good and supportive. I know we don't mention numbers but he met me when I was in the midst of not eating and manic exercising, so I was quite a bit lighter. Well, I've gained, thought I was recovered, and now realize that I was insane to think it was that simple. xD Anyways, he's supporting me losing weight in a healthy way for my benefit, or so I thought. This morning, he voiced his opinion of how he misses me wearing jeans.

How can I wear jeans when I feel like a hippopotamus in them?!

He wants me to take diet pills so that I lose the stomach weight instead of the boob weight. I call myself fat and he tells me I'm overweight. I don't know what to do. With the setting of the appointment, I thought I was moving forward, but with his comments I want to just restrict because I feel disgustingly horrible. I'm at the point where I don't want to be better and he's usually triggering it..

I know this is a long ramble, but I need advice on how to handle this.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Uhh.. no, that's not a healthy attitude from him. You should NOT be taking diet pills for anyone - including yourself. Someone who is supportive will counteract your negative thoughts with positive ones and take the emphasis off your weight or body image. I think you need to communicate this with him.
Juice
Juice
Oh yeah, I heard of those pills that target just your tummy and leave you with a big pair of jugs just for your boyfriend. They're called "In Your Dreams Tosser" and are widely avaiable on the fantasy internet.
What is he like?!! Jeez, I'd have been torn apart if my husband made a comment like that! Sounds to me like he's supporting you for his own ends, and that he's actually sabotaging you.
You ARE moving forwards, and you need to let him know he's not helping you.
Good luck. Men *tuts and shakes head*
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm soo sorry sweetheart. And I have never in the life of me, heard of pills like that.... *loooved juice's pill name* it does seem like he is sabatoging. Have you tried comunicating this all with him? If not, I suggest you do before he causes more harm. Tell him to stop being an ass. I don't know your boyfriend or history, but sadly *as I was privy to in the past* some people(boyfriends included) seem somewhat more empowered when we are ill and frail. Its a sick mental game. But sometimes people look for others with these insecurities bc they want to be the "rock". And in a sense be dominant. I'm not saying this is what he's doing... But it just brought up memories of an ex of mine that prefered me to be very sick over strong and healthy. And played mental games with me when he saw me working to be better, just like that. So that seemed to be one plausible explination, not that its right AT ALL. Insecure men..boo! Hmmm.... Either way, hash it out with him, if in the end he won't mature about it, you are soo much better off moving forward without him. I'm here for ya doll. *Jess*
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree that it is so not good for your body image. I'm glad you decided to journal to DS. Keep getting better w/a positive mental attitude. My boyfriend loves me, unconditionally. Please don't take the any pills. I believe if you communicate that it's hurtful for you, he may be more supportive. God Bless U
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think you need to drop this guy. If he recommends diet pills which are extremely dangerous and call you fat knowing your background, he is not just an insensitive jerk but also a danger for you to relapse. Your recovery is the most important thing right now. You can always find a new bf, but once your health is gone it's gone.