Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
hi everyone, i need some help
my girlfriend was diagnosed with anorexia may 2015 and has been inpatient from september 2015 - march 2016. this impacted our relationship a lot but we weren't dating at the time, only best friend.
she came out of hospital on march 22nd but didn't meet up with me until june 29th because she had severe cofidence issues which meant she didn't want people to see her "the way she is".
in april the year, she and my other friend, rosie, confessed that they both liked me. i had a problem, i liked them both back so basically i had to chose. i chose immy (my girlfriend), obviously and since then she's never really wanted me to meet up with rosie because she's worried she'll steal me from her because she's 'so much better' and 'so much prettier'. she's not.
since i got with immy, i have lost all feelings towards rosie and we've even drifted apart as friends but to say i'm bothered by it would be a lie.
immy hasn't seen anyone out of our friendship group apart from me since she left school in june 2015 because of her anorexia, this is because she thinks everyone is judging her because of her weight and how she looks. she looks beautiful, i don't get why she feels this way, but from her prespective, i do.
in january 2017, i'm having an 18th birthday party, a big milestone in the uk and immy's confidence issues are causing a lot of worry for me. she doesn't want to attend the party, nor see anyone at all because she'll compare herself to others. also, rosie is going too and she's still concerned that i want to be with her instead (i truly don't).
i don't know what to do.
i know it sounds selfish and i don't know if it makes any sense but i feel like her confidence issues are such a big thing that they're causing confidence issues for me. for example, i've never seen my girlfriend naked in anyway, always fully clothed, but she sees me naked all the time. i know it's because she's not confident in herself but the only way i really see it is that she doesn't trust and isn't comfortable around me and that makes me feel like a shit (sorry for the language) girlfriend and i don't know what to do.
all the time that her confidence is going down, mine is too and i need help.
please, anyone, any advice?
Its difficult....but im 27 now and mostly recovered and still with that boyf. U sound very understanding and like ud listen to her which she needs. Honestly? Id say print out what uve said and the answers u get. Be honest with her. Have a chat about it. Get your concearns out. In a relationship, especially where mental health comes included communication is hugely important. Every little thing needs communication. Every worry.anything. it makes both people feel better and trust builds and the closer ul become. It took me about 2 to 3 years before i actially felt that my boyf really did just love me for me and trust he thought i was beautiful even though he did from the start.i have put on 4 stone since i met him and he still loves me for me.i still worry he would prefer me bk to anorexic because thats the shape he met me at and was atteacted to.but it was me, not my shape. Im waffling.good luck.
Long story short - she has to be ready to heal what is causing her to have an ED in the first place. Until she is ready to do that I'm afraid I don't think there is much you can do to help her have the confidence you would like her to have. It has to come from within her and that takes a lot of work on her part. Be patient with her and take care of yourself in this relationship. Please don't make yourself sick while trying to make her healthy.