Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
Earlier today, my brother wanted to check his weight. The scale my dad brought home is nothing short of a mental torture machine. The disgusting thing checks your weight, height, age, calculates your calorie intake, and a bunch of other numbers that no one really needs to know.
So when my brother came out of the bathroom asking my dad what was wrong with it. my dad brought the scale out and started messing with it. I left the living room and went to my room and turned my iPod up so I couldn't hear them talking about it. Apparently, Martina McBride annoys my dad. Without warning, he came in and turned down my stereo. I would've explained myself if my brother hadn't been here. But Bryan doesn't know. Hed never understand. So I grabbed my dad's arm to keep him from turning down the music. I wasn't thinking clearly. I almost started crying. He pulled his arm away, and I asked if they were done with the scale. When he said yes, I told him I was hungry. He asked why I had gone in my room if I was hungry. When I told him it was to get away from the scale, he told me to "Get over it. Its not affecting you. No one's making you get on the scale. Youre being irrational."
I wanted to scream! "Get over it" is his response to everything related to my eating disorder. If I could get over it, I wouldn't still be a mental and emotional basket case! If I could get over it, I wouldn't be in therapy! Im trying, but he has to recognize why I can't handle certain things. Ive explained my behaviors, my EDNOS, my triggers, and how I feel about it over and over.
After Bryan left, I tried to apologize. It kinda back fired. He still said that he doesn't understand why scales trigger me. He asked what Id do to deal with triggers in the future. I wanted to scream "HELLO! I TRIED TO DEAL WITH IT! THAT'S WHY I MADE RECOVERY PLAYLISTS ON MY IPOD! THAT'S WHY I HAVE AN ACCOUNT WITH A SUPPORT GROUP ONLINE! THAT'S PARTLY WHY I KEEP A JOURNAL! THAT'WHY I'VE BEEN WRITING POETRY LIKE A FIEND LATELY!"
He was like, "you can't always run to your iPod." I don't understand what he wants me to say! I mean it's not like I don't want to get better. Im trying, but for the life of me, I CAN'T DO IT BY MYSELF!
If it were up to me, there wouldn't be scales in the house. But this is not my house, and my dad is a diabetic. My brother is a soldier. The National Guard keeps track of every soldier's weight. I think it's an insurance thing.
At lunch, I only ate half my burger. And every other bite, dad said "Eat the rest of your burger." When I didn't, he kept asking me if I wanted more food. I need to move out. Obviously, i can't recover in this house.-Fallon
So when my brother came out of the bathroom asking my dad what was wrong with it. my dad brought the scale out and started messing with it. I left the living room and went to my room and turned my iPod up so I couldn't hear them talking about it. Apparently, Martina McBride annoys my dad. Without warning, he came in and turned down my stereo. I would've explained myself if my brother hadn't been here. But Bryan doesn't know. Hed never understand. So I grabbed my dad's arm to keep him from turning down the music. I wasn't thinking clearly. I almost started crying. He pulled his arm away, and I asked if they were done with the scale. When he said yes, I told him I was hungry. He asked why I had gone in my room if I was hungry. When I told him it was to get away from the scale, he told me to "Get over it. Its not affecting you. No one's making you get on the scale. Youre being irrational."
I wanted to scream! "Get over it" is his response to everything related to my eating disorder. If I could get over it, I wouldn't still be a mental and emotional basket case! If I could get over it, I wouldn't be in therapy! Im trying, but he has to recognize why I can't handle certain things. Ive explained my behaviors, my EDNOS, my triggers, and how I feel about it over and over.
After Bryan left, I tried to apologize. It kinda back fired. He still said that he doesn't understand why scales trigger me. He asked what Id do to deal with triggers in the future. I wanted to scream "HELLO! I TRIED TO DEAL WITH IT! THAT'S WHY I MADE RECOVERY PLAYLISTS ON MY IPOD! THAT'S WHY I HAVE AN ACCOUNT WITH A SUPPORT GROUP ONLINE! THAT'S PARTLY WHY I KEEP A JOURNAL! THAT'WHY I'VE BEEN WRITING POETRY LIKE A FIEND LATELY!"
He was like, "you can't always run to your iPod." I don't understand what he wants me to say! I mean it's not like I don't want to get better. Im trying, but for the life of me, I CAN'T DO IT BY MYSELF!
If it were up to me, there wouldn't be scales in the house. But this is not my house, and my dad is a diabetic. My brother is a soldier. The National Guard keeps track of every soldier's weight. I think it's an insurance thing.
At lunch, I only ate half my burger. And every other bite, dad said "Eat the rest of your burger." When I didn't, he kept asking me if I wanted more food. I need to move out. Obviously, i can't recover in this house.-Fallon
peanutzz
Hey Fallon. This has been going on for a long time, this issue with that stupid scale. And your Dad doesn't seem to be getting on board with it anytime soon. At least you have moving out to look forward to. A light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for posting so that we can support you. Being here with people who understand. xo
deleted_user
I think moving out is a good idea.
deleted_user
I am so sorry that you are stuggling and they you have to be in that environment for the time being. I will pray that things will start turning around for you and i will also pray for your strength during this time. and i agree with peanutzz that ds is a great place to get support from others going through the same or similar things that you are too
jasgall
thank you for the support! ((HUGS))
deleted_user
Bless your heart!!! I know how you feel about thinking your sibling won't understand and making you feel like you are irrational. But you're being perfectly rational and you're doing the right things. We are here for you!
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