As you all know this isn't easy. As I sit here I cry thinking how did I get here...how did I let this happen. I don't know what I would say I suffer from. Anorexia, bulemia, I don't know. I guess both. In my past, 3 years ago, I went through a period of about 3 months where I lost 30lbs because I started eating small amounts of food, then started throwing up, then progressed to not eating anything. Friends and family stepped in and started pushing me to get better and would sit with me after eating tiny amounts of food to prevent me from throwing up. It helped. I got better. I still felt that gut feeling that I wasnt happy but I was coping. 5 months ago an ex came back into my life and made me feel like I wasnt good enough, just like he did before, and it sparked up my eating problem again. I started exercising and dieting and started throwing up again and once again, progressed to not eating. I eat as little as possible and drink about 20 cups of coffee a day. Friends and family are starting to notice again and i'm feeling more and more consumed by this with each day. I have never joined one of these groups, but I feel it's the right first step. I've been told to go see my doctor to find out what to do to get help but i'm ashamed for him to know. I dont want him to see that i've lost 24lbs since seeing him 2 months ago. I'm 5'4 and weight 116lb, I know losing much more wont be healthy but it's all I want to do.