Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

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Smash 02/03/2008

I know that this is a recovery sight, and when I first came here I really did want to quit this. But after 2 years of having an ED it's really grown on me. Like, it is the only thing that will allways truly be there for me. I can't control if other people let me down and abandon me, but I can control my Bulimia. It's like having my best friend rooming inside of me, or like me being my own best friend which would make me independant and just prove that I don't need anybody else. Nothing except my eating disorder.

I've been trying really hard lately to turn this thought process around b/c I am supposed to be going to treatment in about a month and I know that if I don't go in there with the mind set to get better than the whole thing will just be a waiste of my time and insurance money.

So any advice on how to reverse this? or just ways that eating disorders (especially Bulimia) have ruined your life??

deleted_user 02/03/2008

The problem is that your so called "Best Friend" will ultimately destroy you , the longer you keep it with you your choices in life will diminish, I am sure you dont want that. x

deleted_user 02/03/2008

i think i kinda know how u feel although for me its ana not mia.
i decided to try recovery on thursday and since then iv bn so scared,it is like giving up a friend but fane is right it does take away ur choices.also it will in the end kill u.
i dont know yet how to change my attachment to ana but i know it does me more harm than good,even though the good is very appealing n comforting at times,it has taken over my thoughts and my life for far too long.
dont let it keep u,its really only pretending to b ur friend coz it wants to hurt u and isolate u from any real friends.
im sorry i couldnt offer any constructive advice,im only at the begining of this recovery journey.
i hope u dont give up on getting better,life has to b better on the other side.
much love
message me anytime to chat or just blow off steam n express ur feelings.
i hope what iv said makes sence.
xxxxxxx

Slimpics 02/03/2008

I always say it's normal to be ambivalent about giving up an ED. You KNOW how bad it affects your thinking processes & your life in general. Good for you about going to treatment. I say give it an HONEST shot, and work your program with all your being, and give recovery a CHANCE! If you don't like how it feels to get better (which I doubt,) you can always revive your ED if you think you "need" it.

deleted_user 02/03/2008

You feel like it has grown on you but really you have grown on it. It is something you can relate to, something you know how to o, something you can't do wrong. I understand. it is scary to imagine that there is more out there. To give up a piece of you-a HUGE piece of you is frightening. I was bulimic for a number of years that has leas to calcium depletion and an enormous dental bill from tooth erosion. I am now more of a restricted eater that simply enjoys maintaining my weight whether it is below the recommended or not. I will be honest, topomax is what saved me during the worst bulimic episodes and now that I have quit taking it I feel weak and helpless at times. You cannot let it go unless you are ready and face that you are stronger than the disease. At least you found a place of support!

deleted_user 02/03/2008

I'm anorexic but I think it's all the same. It's great that you are going into treatment and want to prepare for it. In treatment you will have tons of group sessions on how to turn the thought process around. The hard think is to follow through once you get home. So don't torture yourself right now about the way you think. That is the reason you are getting help. If you could do it on your own you wouln't need it.
And yes ED does destroy your ED if you let him. I always told myself I will never be one of the longtimers, but what a fool I was to believe that. It's been ten years, I have heart damage, no energy, I'm depressed most of the time, sometimes suicidal. It's very seldom that I experience something like joy. So I am so happy for you that you seek help now and not when a good part of your life has already been dedicated to ED.

deleted_user 02/03/2008

I'm glad you have the opportunity to go to treatment. When I went this summer I was on a hell bent mission to figure out why I was doing this to myself and how to stop. You're already pretty honest about your relationship with ED, which puts you leaps ahead of the game. Let them help you with setting the stage for your mind set to change that relationship. Just be as honest as you can and you'll come out a new person. XOXO

deleted_user 02/04/2008

I know how you feel. My boyfriend is trying to help me eat again [and I don't want to trigger anyone] but I just don't want to.

My mom is hard to please woman. She is pretty and thin and is always on a diet. She doesn't normally tell me that I look skinny. If I ask her if she looks fat she just tells me to watch what I eat. Well the other day she told me that I was looking really skinny. I know that it is bad, but I felt somewhat accomplished. What do I do??

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