Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I'm anorexic purging type, not bulimic. I don't usually binge... Except on Sundys when I wake up way earlier than everyone else in my family so in ocasions I have breakfast several times in the morning and vomit after each one.
Today we came home after lunch in a restaurant and I throwed up, as usual... Then everyone left for a church thing and I ate a bowl of ice cream with everything I could find, and a glass of coke. It was followed by instant vomiting as it was more than I could handle (the quantity I consumed didn't happen with the objective of making me vomit, just craves). It was horrible. A sugar overdose followed by filling half the toilet bowl with vomit. This is my first real binge and I hated it but I find it hard to stop now. I want to eat something again and my family is not coming back till 10pm. No, they don't know a thing and I don't intend to tell them.
Today we came home after lunch in a restaurant and I throwed up, as usual... Then everyone left for a church thing and I ate a bowl of ice cream with everything I could find, and a glass of coke. It was followed by instant vomiting as it was more than I could handle (the quantity I consumed didn't happen with the objective of making me vomit, just craves). It was horrible. A sugar overdose followed by filling half the toilet bowl with vomit. This is my first real binge and I hated it but I find it hard to stop now. I want to eat something again and my family is not coming back till 10pm. No, they don't know a thing and I don't intend to tell them.
ThisGal
Also, what do I do after a sugar overdose? I feel shaky and bad both physically and emotionally, ashamed, guilty, etc. How do I make this sugar crush stop?
eshaw
You're going to hate my response, seriously bad. But what I gather from your post is that you are struggling with control issues. I do it too. All the time. I look for ways I can control my eating, and when I'm unsuccessful I feel completely out of control and terrified. Do you think you're avoiding dealing with anything in your life? Something you desparately want control of? I could be wrong, but when I fall into deep ED behaviors its usually because I'm afraid or unwilling to deal with the true feelings I'm experiencing. As far as the current symptoms, ride it out. Acknowledge how devastating it feels to be so out of control and offer yourself some compassion and the ability to make better choices tomorrow. Let it go. No matter how much you ate today, tomorrow is a new day, and you can beat yourself up or you can start over and do your best tomorrow. Sorry if this sounds unsympathetic, I am, I guess I'm saying what I need to hear. Once you identify what it is you're desperately trying to control in your life, letting go becomes a little easier, I've found. Good luck. Feel free to message me for clarification if I'm making no sense.
AnnaB12
I'm sorry you're going through this right now. You can get better but it takes time and effort- I know you said you don't intend to tell your family, wondering if you've ever sought professional help at all? Thinking of you.
eshaw
I feel like my last post was not supportive. I know ED's are so much harder than just making a decision to change. I'm sorry if my post seemed inconsiderate. I just want to help you feel less ashamed, and help you to know that all we can do is take this one day at a time. Minute, second at a time. Try not to beat yourself up, I've learned it doesn't help me much. Hope you're doing better today. HUGS!
Join the Conversation