Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I feel like I am such an embarrassment and am so absolutely hideous and disgraceful. How can I be eating so much, like literally would be having over 3000-4000 calories per day!!#@! It's not even logical, I'm gaining so much weight and hating myself every step of the way and wanting to stop eating every single second of the day, yet no one is actually forcing me at the same time! I'll be heading to obesity soon, whereas nearing 6 months ago now I was in hospital and underweight etc. being force fed with an NG tube every meal, full supervision and had to go into Medical unit with heart monitors etc. plus a blood sugar level of 2.. which should be 4 at its lowest yet I'm just forcing myself against the opposite of what I want, and I'm not making things any better for myself, I just can't help myself. I can't stand it. I hate it, I hate myself! :/
sarasota34233
I think that your body is just trying to get a balance right now...this is not uncommon...when your body gets where it needs to be it will balance out and you will eat what is a regular amount. You are still not where you need to be is my bet and your body is still regulating. The body knows what it needs and it is now wanting to be starved anymore. Just make sure you are making healthy choices and allow yourself to continue feeding yourself. You will not get obese or overweight. If you are worried, see a nutritionist and get on a meal plan that works for you. You are listening to your body for once and it is probably liking it...I think that you might be over- estimating what you are eating. What do you think?
ann54
saraosta is right, I have heard from many that have been IP that they have had to eat that many calories, your body has been starving and when it reaches a stable weight you will maintain. I know it must be very hard to do, but please stick with the eating, the ED mind is always lying to us about what we think and feel. keep up the good work.
TheED
I haven't been making healthy choices. Its like the only foods I eat has about a million calories and full of sugar or carbs and fat. I'm not overestimating I don't think, and I have gained more than I have in ages. I'm so ashamed of myself.. :( I know that the whole post self-starvation thing apparently makes you bloated at first then it evens out, and makes you eat alot more, but then eventually lowers in intake, but I've been doing this for months now, and I haven't even been near underweight for months and months, (except for once) so I don't know why it keeps on going, is this ever going to end!?! :/
sarasota34233
It will end. The body gets so confused and it does not want to be starved anymore every again. It is craving nourishment and it is getting what it needs. It will not hold onto the weight...it is just trying to stabilize. You are so right about the post starvation mode that you are going through right now. When I was inpatient and in residential I was on close to 5000 calories a day and my metabolism went crazy...I was burning calories like a 15-year-old boy! The weight initially went to my tummy and I hated it...but within a month or so it redistributed and it was fine. I still have to eat a higher number of calories than most people to maintain my weight...don't know what that is about...your body will work itself out...let is do it on its own. I know it is hard...try not to judge. When you say that what you are eating has "about a million calories" that says to me that you are not thinking rationally...so be careful...try to think clearly and be gentle with your body.
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